A Day in the Life of Lindsay K.

I've Moved!

2007-08-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

I've been swayed to the dark side, or should I say, the way cooler side.

This blog has been moved to www.lindsaykate.wordpress.com.

Enjoy the new digs - I sure am!

I've Lost It

2007-07-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I've lost it.

Our intern supervisor, Steve, today spoke to us and talked about how he's appreciated how much we have given and our willingness to serve this summer. This was coming from a guy who's served many places and about to leave for Zambia for two weeks. And I then reflected instantly.

This really is insanity. By all means, I could have worked a summer job, made a good bit of cash, spent time with close friends, stayed within the comforts of my family, worked out, watched the soaps each afternoon, played with my dog, spend countless hours on the internet at any time, and enjoy home-cooked meals each night. I could have had my own car to drive around, and been there to help my Dad paint it. I could have yard saled with Mom each Saturday.

Instead I chose an expensive summer, which expensive phone bills, and expensive eat eateries. I chose to buy a $200 plane ticket to travel to the other side of the United States to live in close confines with people I had never met before. I paid to live in Los Feliz, and to live on $100 a week for 8 other girls in a 3 bedroom apartment. I chose to sweep floors at a nightclub and stack chairs. I chose to spend time designing under pressure, to squeeze into cars each day as I carpooled from place to place without transportation of my own, and to dog it down the quad playing ultimate frisbee. I chose to sleep in an apartment that is right next to a noisy blvd. and that doesn't have functional air conditioning.

And this is what I got.

I've received a summer of learning. I've learned about my strengths and what they have to do with leading people. I've connected with people that come from all over the world. I've been on a team of passionate people who draw me into the conversation of their hearts. I've been challenged to love people with my time and not my program. I've been humbled by watching others sacrifice their car, money, and love for each other. I've been convicted to live a life for a higher calling, a calling each one of us desires for ourselves. I've been eating a lot of tuna because it's cheap. I've been getting a small tan on my arms and my feet so you can now see an outline of my shoes. I've been given a chance to speak twice in a 5 minute time span, an experience and feedback session that is so helpful for talking with anyone.

I'm more raw. More challenged. And more directed where to go from here.

I lost it all this summer. And I got it all.

...in fact, I got more.

The Stem System

2007-07-25T22:00:00.001-07:00

When you live in a house, the art of cooking turns it into a home. Unfortunately, you begin to encounter hot pans and hot hands. Eventually you'll end up like a few of your dishes: burned.

Occasions like these cause me to be thankful I adopted an aloe plant. The amazing characterisitc about an aloe plant is that it's not your ordinary cactus, absorbing minor increments of water and displaying it's anti-blooming features of greenness. It's the fact that when you get scolded from a hot surface, ripping off a piece of this natural specimen appendage becomes soothing on your skin. Despite the missing segment, it fails to phase the plant as it continues to grow, still giving more goods in comparison to the water it absorbs.

The human condition is a lot like an aloe plant. There is a necessary component to the nature of our well being and wholeness that involves the act of giving. Once I begin to think about it, giving so essential to life and wholeness. All real relationships require the act of giving, mainly love.

Because love in it's purest expression is not something that is received, but something that is given.

For example, when I become emotional consumer of love, I've become unable to experience the very thing we long for: love. When I want to consume the beauty and love that is extended to me, I cannot accept it. Yet, in a paradoxical manner, when I give the very thing I do not have, I gain it.

The person who gives away the most of himself will have the greatest experience of love. The aloe plant that does not bear branches dies, but the one that grows from it's gift thrives.

Wholeness comes as a sacrifice and sacrifice as love.

Jesus finds himself being asked what the greatest commandment is, among a vast history of countless commandments. He explains that the first is loving God and loving yourself as your neighbor. This commandment comes two fold, not three. Instead of loving God, loving myself, and loving my neighbor, but by simply loving God and loving my neighbor, I take that paradoxical road and being to love myself.

Nothing is more important to God than our relationships, because when I love others, it reflects the heart of the Creator. Love's appearance is so vast to give. It becomes a limitless resource.

A hand in the kitchen.

An ear to listen.

A ride to the airport.

A cup of coffee.

A heart in a moment of crisis.

The more I give away this love, the more I become whole, like an aloe plant. We are all designed to be an intense aloe plant, a love machine. It doesn't focus on absorbing, it focuses on giving. And by giving, it heals wounds with love.

Guarding your Cheese Muffin

2007-07-23T12:32:00.001-07:00

So there is this intern, J (pictured as the guitarist on the right with D) , and he's a remarkable individual. So many wonderful words cannot even being to describe his energetic personality. Hilarious. Loving. Talented. Truthful. J is a tremendous person to have on this project.

This morning at a meeting he was sharing a story from Sunday morning. He and my roommate, C, head to a Sunday morning Mosaic venue inland at Chino. As they waited in line at McD's in the wee hours of the day, Jesse was enthralled to receive his 32 oz. cup for Powerade. C, a strong anti-morning individual, was astonished how anyone could consume anything that is 32 oz. at the break of dawn. In rebuttal, expressed how anyone could eat a cheese muffin, coincidentally C's order.

What does this funny little story mean? J preceded to share that he's held onto various things in order to find his identity. C's comment about his 32oz. was more than a shot at the concept, he perceived it as a shot at him. He wanted to guard his Powerade, so he took a shot at the cheese muffin. But the cheese muffin was being guarded too.

It's remarkable how we let things rule ourselves. More so, it's remarkable at what community does. In the past 5 days, the community here among the interns has improved by a countless percent. The dynamics of the group started to make an upward swing when we confessed we had grudges against each other, deep struggles we weren't sharing with our close friends to enable them to walk along side of us, because it wasn't an area that could be trusted. A great measurement of a healthy relationship is the level of trust that is present, because where we find trust we also find the heart of the matter.

This is always about that.

It's never the fact that the laundry was taken out and thrown on the top of the washer. It's the fact that there is a sense of disrespect in the relationship.

It's never the fact that someone was trying to help me and I rejected it. It's the fact that I feel like I can't do it on my own because of it.

This is always about that.

Rob Bell speaks of this theory in the first chapter of his latest book Sex God, where he explores the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality. When a community chooses to confess and talk with each other, it unleashes the starting fruit of healthiness both socially, but also spiritually and emotionally.

Remarkable how so many components of spirituality, emotional, and social health are inversely tied. I personally found that without a healthy social community where trust is established, I cannot be fully alive spiritually. The Gospels scream community. Constantly we can find Jesus being so relational with others in groups and in one on one situations. I truly believe that God desires community within His creation because despite our anti-social tendencies, being part of a family with a foundation of hope, faith and love, it enables our heart to once again wildly beat.

The whole story is crazy. You know, the story of God. The whole journey I've been on in my life is just out of the world nutty. Ridiculous, really. The road ahead is so full of wondrous uncertainty. And even though the road to seek a mysterious God of this love and power and mystic nature, it's the sweetest thing I've ever tasted.

Last night at the Mayan was one of my best Sunday nights in California. Why? I had a community. A family. And I have a loving God who intensely wants to take me on this adventure to follow Him, to find out about Him through what He's written to me, and to embrace the sweetness that he desires to give me.

The sweetest thing I've ever tasted.

To Rant and Rave

2007-07-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

Corporate America is so interesting. Markets, economies, all those great resources being utilized and studied. Honestly, the only things I know about the field are from people who do know a thing or two about them. Like one of the interns here at Mosaic, he's an International Business major and his insight on small and major issues ranging from small marketing to the economics of Africa is astounding and so profound. I'm captivated. But what is even more captivating is to first-hand witness such results. Like Costco.

Costco is the West Coast version on Sam's Club. Since we have 9 girls in a 3 bedroom apartment, food goes fast.

So buy it in bulk.

Bulk supply in anything you would imagine. Bulk in cereal. Bulk in toilet paper. Bulk in vodka. Bulk in candy.

Trying to navigate your way through one of these joints is like riding on the LA freeway, only grabbing food along the way (and if you know anything about LA freeways, you're getting a great visual). Everyone herded together with monsterous carts wandering around for the right isle that is stacked to the roof with crates upon crates of food and materials. It's like a refuge house in case the next Cold War came knocking at your fridge door.

Then you have vendors. Granted, they are hard workers, kissing up and promoting their product, but they serve as drive-in billborads among the rush of shoppers swerving and cornering around each other from section to section. Because of the size of the buggies, a traffic jam occurs when a crowd of three or more come. It's as if traffic was trying to be scriptural. "When two or more (carts) gather, I will be there".

You do get a great deal. Membership is required because of the wholesale discount you are getting. A lot of things are significantly cheaper, no doubt, but the means of aquiring grub is exhausting. I might pay my mother to say away from such places to compensate for the cost of anger management sessions that would result. She hates Wal-Mart in our small town to begin with. I thought of her today and rendered Costco a "no-shop zone". She'd be a chewin', as we would say.

I now see why some families reproduce frequently. It's so they have hands to unload the goods from the car when you finally get home. Then you crack open a yogert from a package of 18 and savor the victory as you wipe the sweat off your brow, praying that the food you hauled in will last you a significantly long period of time.

Many hands make light work. Too bad they have mouths.

Fraternizing and such.

2007-07-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

I love Tuesdays. Typically my Tuesday on campus involve all kinds of long, crazy excitement. Cutting invites. Packaging. Designing. Class. Dinner. Heaps of tasks for the Gathering on Tuesday nites in Edinboro.

Here in Cali my Tuesdays are dedicated to the University of Southern California and the architecture house on the Row. The row is like a magical land of large homes that exhibit qualities of wealthy landowners but are actually trashed on the inside from parties and a year long of fraternization gone wild. But summer frat living is much calmer, and quieter.

Myself along with 3 other interns head down to campus in the afternoon to meet and then eventually get together a pick-up game of Ultimate Frisbee at the Quad on campus. It seems surreal to me that I am actually at the USC campus. I've looked at the Heisman trophies. I've seen all the awards. I've walked around the brochure-perfect campus. It's amazing. A rich kid's paradise.

After the pick-up game, a few head over to McD's for 69 cent drinks in something like a 32 oz cup. Large. Intense. They even have Powerade, which is more user friendly than can a coke after chucking a plastic disc down the field and chasing it like a pack of dogs at the park.

Then the best part happens. We haul out chairs and a table, make fruit cabobs, and host a grand weekly cookout. We chit chat, play another game of Ultimate in a neighboring yard of a girls sorority house that is abandoned for the summer, and then enjoy freshly grilled burgers by a true Texan who's results verify his heritage. Later in the night we finish up with some kind of random ice cream or cookie, or both. Either way, it's a good night.

But it's a great night, a tremendous night when you start talking to people who come each week and hear their story. Those from all over the country, or right in Southern California's backyard, and enjoying a game of play with them. Inviting them into a grander story, one pass of the frisbee at a time.

I'll miss USC, the smell of the fancy grass, the sounds of the numerous water fountains, and the fantastic time of fellowship. A beautiful art of loving on people.

Stories from San Pedro Street

2007-07-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

Fran: She's one of my fellow interns, an apartment-mate, and a friend. Fran has such a passion for people on San Pedro Street, where you an find Skidrow, the homeless community of LA. There you'll find Union Rescue Mission, a love-centered endevor to combat the issue of homelessness in the city. Fran also turns a few heads at the Mission.

James: This guy was playing cards with me today inside the men's day room where you can find an internet cafe and lounge. We played gin rummy with Charlie, another resident enlisted with the rehabilitation program at the Mission, and another intern. I concluded that James probably had stronger math skills than myself.

Jonathan: Originally from Georgia, this UGA student drove out to LA for the summer on a whim to break out of the mold and into the world. He's out here working a restaurant, living north of downtown, and volunteering with the interns when we head down to the Union Rescue Mission. Huge heart, he does have. We've pretty much taken him in as one of our own.

T : Dude, this man can cook. He's a great chef in the back kitchen who's using his talents to prepare meals for the many hungry stomachs on the streets. Union Rescue feeds about 2,000 homeless individuals each day. Donations are always in the back, ready to be prepped. All that is needed is the hands, and those hands can surely be mine. He also has a great sense of humor, and enjoys whistling and singing.

Kasey (or K.C, or even Casey, whichever way you prefer it) : Remarkable. A Kansas resident, he flew out to LA with a small bag and a ticket paid by his home church to Skidrow so he can live among he homeless population for 3 weeks. That's right. He's living with the homeless at the Mission. Eating their meals. Spending time with them. Sleeping in the stay rooms He even fell asleep in Pershing Square the other day, hub for homeless (which, a lot of homeless sleep there, so he found that little happening quite humorous). I declare this heart daredevil an honorary intern.

David: Another intern who speaks with a conviction when he expresses his aspirations to eliminate homelessness. His heart is pure. His words have emotion. And it was listening to him on a car ride home one night from an event about homelessness that helped me re-evaluate how I serve people and to seize the opportunity that I have while being here in LA.

Lindsay: She feels very reflective after a day at Skidrow. She's challenged. She feels whole. She felt like she was part of a community. It's funny how authentic community doesn't even need a structure. It doesn't need a steeple. It doesn't require a fireplace. It requires a heart beat, a smile, and a sacrifice to step out of the self-centered desires of each day to extend a self-less commitment to others. She wants to go back next week and learn a new card game too.

From the middle of the backseat

2007-07-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

A common theme for this summer is carpooling. Intense carpooling. Limited space, many bodies, and shuffling to and fro from location to location, calling each other endlessly to assure we are accounted for all of our fellow interns.

Yesterday was quite like that. Since I headed back from the offices early and my evening plans had been canceled, news of traveling to Santa Monica beach for the late hours of Monday sounded like a great deal. Eventually, after the phone calls, seat arrangements, and discussion, we headed out of Los Feliz towards the Pacific Ocean.

Sometimes I feel like my best thoughts can be collected traveling in the car, more specifically, the middle seat in the cab of a Chevy pick-up truck. As I reflected upon the latest developments in support raising, I started to dwell upon the concept of possibilities. Where we were headed and an element of where we were going got this thought train fired up. There's something about shopping that appeals to me when I had money and when I might spend money (but in all reality, I don't because I'm outrageously cheap). But having the option to spend money, the possibility is somewhat freeing. Pretty simple concept. And then I thought about lack of possibilities.

There is something enslaving about the lack of possibilities when they seem like common rights to everyone else. To wake up in the morning without employment. To yearn for a better future for your children when you simply don't have the finances. To live in a place where basic rights are prohibited. Abuse. Neglect. Disregard for people with exploding amount of human worth and dignity.

How can I give someone else a chance to explore their possibilities? Where does one even begin? Seems like an overwhelming task. Yet, as I write this, giving these chances for intensified living just might be easier than one would think.

Buy a student a cup of coffee.

Serve at a food service center.

Donate funds to a greater cause.

Give someone a car ride.

Cast a smile.

Support a child.

Extend arms for hugs.

Possibilities seem as if they would only consist of material things. Granted, those things do create possibilities. But possibilities derive from the heart. Touching a heart and being intentional. Simplicity and possibilities appear to correspond.

I've been touched by being given possibilities over a sandwich at the bagel shop, a conversation in the living room, and being given the great opportunity to experience ministry in LA through the gifts of others. It's a inverse relationship because when others are looking for n extended hand, I will remember the hands extended to me. Each month 3 friends and I remember the many hands that have provided love and a future and give to a child thousands of miles away in Columbia so that we may aid her in endless possibilities. Because we believe that she is worth endless dignity.

Cleaning a Nighclub

2007-07-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

Internships always have unqiue job descriptions, but I never imagined mine would include the brooming of drink straws, picking up used limes, and mopping up the floors sticky from the previous night that is like many other nights. Club nights. A typical LA club nights in a building with pagan gods carved into the walls with a balcony and so much square footage that you become lost in the maze of doors, stairwells, and foyers.

The Mayan is a gathering for Mosaic at 5:00PM and 7:00PM Sunday evenings. Because the club isn't open Sunday nights, the owners make a profit from the rent of the space from Mosaic. In return, we have a venue in the heart of LA that does more than any decoration or promotional could ever do. It has a flavor, an appeal that has such an influence because of the sheer fact that it's the Mayan. It's a nightclub.

The intern crew for the Mayan arrives at 2:00PM to begin clean up from Saturday night (it saves us money this way). In fact, so many of the interns are passionate about the Mayan. Set up and clean up are so time consuming, but when you have many hands, the task becomes light work. Serving at the Mayan looks starkly different from what typical serving may look like. Strapping on rubber gloves, picking up a broom, and getting a good Sunday afternoon sweat opens your eyes to a new realm of church service. Service, raw and untamed.

It's what I love about serving at the Mayan. It's not ideal. In fact, sometimes it's not comfortable. I'm not saying I face life-threathening monsters in the green rooms in the basement, I'm saying that confortable service is sometimes hard to find when it's nitty gritty.

I was pondering about this idea of "comfortable". We seem to be creatures who crave to be "comfortable". Maybe it's a birth-given thing. Why do we buy the soft couch? The sleek car? Why do we travel to the same place? Why do we hate moving? Why do we love t-shirts? Why do we hate change? Because we just might be a little bit inclined to be comfortable.

The funny thing about service and, heck, life for that matter, is that you can control this comfort level. You can become as comfortable or uncomfortable as you want. It's when you step out of the natural rythem of things and head into a tunnel of uncertainty where you find comfort is gone. Maybe comfort amidst the uncertainy is a direct result of faith. Maybe a declaration of the soul craving for something bigger. And when you seek the heart of a God who as the size thing under control, our comfort levels begin to coincide with his.

For me, uncertain in this stage of my life has taught me a lot. In the end, it shows me that the fear I am holding within me is the very extraordinary thing God has waiting for me. Therefore, comfort shall be a creature, but never my ruler.

Flags and Frappachinos

2007-07-06T22:14:00.000-07:00

It would be interesting to conduct research to find whether "morning socialness" is a genetic trait, because I am the product of such a thing. Mornings, when woken before reaching a full re-charge from the previous day, are utterly awful for me. Same goes for my mother. Don't talk to me, don't try to make conversation, because I just might hurt you. One of my former roommates can testify to this. Poor girl tried to start conversations in the morning before she headed off to class. I was useless.

So when I recieved word July 3rd that I would start my July 4th at 5:40AM, I was less than thrilled. In fact, I was forced with the truth that I was already headed to bed past 12AM, just several hours before the events of the day would begin. The reason for this early awakening is due to the fact that I am a stereotype: I'm an intern. So when you need a group of people to fend off other Californians from Elyisan Park's section 9 for the Mosaic Picnic, you are awarded this steller job.

The day started off in a rush because everyone had the same idea: get up at the same time so we can pile in the bathroom. Once we rushed up and out of the apartment, we headed to the park to park ourselves on picnic tables and haul out materials for the festivites from 11-4 to celebrate America. At this hour, the question of why we were celebrating the United States in such a large manner when we have 70+ nationalities at Mosaic seemed a tad puzzling. But even so, I sat quietly with Blue Like Jazz on a picnic table among dirt and dew covered grass.

The day took a violent upswing with orders were taken from an intern at Starbucks. Now granted, I rather support the local guy who is making a buck rather than the mega-store with their own addicts for their product, but at this hour of the day when so much would be demanded, how could one say no to a Mocha Frappachino.

The day went well. The food was delicious, BBQ ribs, chicken, beans, tater salad, rolls, all the holiday fixins. Facepainting with the kids. And of course, lots of injuries. Honestly, what's a large event of outdoor action without breaking and bleeding?

The most memorable, aside from, Erwin's son breaking an ankle, was a child who rolled down this large, dusty southern California hill causing a cut on his left hand and some mighty good scrapes on his knees. It brought back many memories of rolling down the gravel driveway on my Fisher-Price tricycle and dumping it over at rapid kid speed. Only this child screamed city kid. Really. He screamed a lot. The sight of his own blood and wounds caused frantic exclaimation at decibals so loud that my parents ringed me and inquired if there was a sonic boom on the west coast. Ok, that might be an exaggeration, but you get the idea.

Poor kid. We cleaned him up, calmed him down, and finally got the kiddo at the point where he wasn't crying so much that the California drought was ending. After the end of the excitement, clean up proceeded and we headed back to the apartment to view distant fireworks.

But let us go back. Well, let me go back. I'm the one writing it. Anyway, during the picnic I was gazing across the beautiful view of people of all different ages and races gathering and interacting in the great outdoors and realized that if I could picture a little bit of heaven on earth, it would be at that moment. So mych joy, conversations, and celebrating. Raw and untamed fellowship among so many people from all over the world. One of the wonders of LA. You meet people from everyone with amazing stories that leave you reflecting for ages.

Sushi and a Gas Station

2007-07-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

Traveling into the mountains in California is a wonderous experience, so much so that leaving this state without doing so would seem like a huge loss.

This past week I had the pleasure of exploring more of Southern California through the means of dinner dates and beach appointments. Monday night we headed into an area about 10 or so miles from Los Feliz to this twisty mountain communities that were covered in homes, big and small, delicately placed in the side of the hills. Again, I saw these similiar communities as we traveled to Erwin's neighborhood (group picutre above) and later to Laguna Beach. Those of you who are familiar with the name may be familiar with the MTV show that was probably one of the second worst reaility shows I've ever seen, Big Brother being number 1.

As we made our way down through the mountains to the beach on Saturday, finishing up a week of various traveling in the area, we passed a gas station that served sushi.

Polar opposites.

I believe that in order to purchase raw fish from the same place you purchase unleaded fuel there would have to be a strong bribe or a significant mental impairment. What would even convince the store owner that this combination would even fiancially thrive?

Then I started to gaze at the houses that covered the tips of the hills and thought about the paradox of such a building location. Why build your house on land that has the capabilities to become a structure sled if rain waters persist? Why would so many people build in such unsafe territory? Sure, California doesn't get a lot of rain, that is for sure, but is it worth the risk?

Then I thought about where I had been this past week. Going to have meals at these two places in the hills, the gorgeous mountains of California, and being in complete awe of glancing out a window and seeing a view that would continually, day by day, take your breath away.

The view.

Sometimes the risk is worth the view. Like this Californian experience, the challenge, the growing, the intense opporitunity of a lifetime. The risk and fear of support raising, the uncertainity, the seperation of country comforts, it's all worth the view. Because as we cruised along the highway on a Saturday afternoon I was reminded of something I said last summer.

"I can't believe I almost said no."

In the future, I believe these memories and experiences will remind me of the greater causes that life is short and rich. Savor the moments of each day. And when called to do the uncertain, to have faith to pursue the direction without knowing the destination.

Living each moment, laughing everyday, and loving beyond words.

Soaking.

2007-06-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

The sunshine in this state rocks my world. I am at the office this afternoon for a spell and gazing out the window in awe of the misty mountains, towering palm trees, and radiant sun that casts a beautiful glow upon the landscapes in Pasadena.

I love new experiences like this. I recently took a strength finder test and discovered that adaptability was one of my strengths, which does surprise me but doesn't. Taking that strength finder, first of all, was amazing. Sometimes I find myself being all too hard on myself, that I don't do anything well rather, it could always be better. But seeing that I have evident strengths in certain areas was great to know; somewhat affirming.

Spending time in new places is a hobby I want to instill in my life forever. I have a long list of places I'd enjoy visiting. Ireland. England. All 50 states. Australia. You know, the typical. Among those are more specific locations like L'Abri, learning centers all over the world. The Fellows Initiative,which are great community experiences while taking your Masters. And visiting people I know and love. Even with access to a car, I've started to experience some of that. Nothing like a great road trips with the ipod and the windows down.

But I know at the core of my that there is something about PA that will always capture my heart and remain there, expecially Coffee Hollow. Living in LA hasn't been some horrendous experience of culture shock. In fact, I don't think I experienced any kind of culture shock. But in the midst of living in a new place with a different structure of community, there are certain things about the homestead that I wish for, and miss.

The smell of a grill while relaxing in the lagoon-shaped pool.

Fresh-cut grass on a lazy Saturday.

Yard saling in the morning followed by a lunchtime samich.

Random and strange projects from the garage.

A morning on the porch as the dog sunbathes.

Afternoon soaps down the road at the relatives.

Seeing family. Seeing friends. Seeing pets.

Smelling the hay that probably still hasn't been cut.

I'm sure the list could go on and on, because it's my hometown. My roots. And even though I am soaking up LA like a sponge, I will never cease to soak up the others as well.

Leftovers and Art

2007-06-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

When you're young and low on money, sometimes the simplist things mean more than what would typically meet the eye.

One of my favorite things about the internship in California has been the experience of meeting with the Graphic Designer at Mosaic each Thursday. I join together with two other interns each week to experience and learn something new about LA and about art. Last week's adventure took us to a little Italian place in Pasadena that left my stomach topped off for the remainder of the day as we talked about the role graphic arts play in our regions and how it can be used to convey certain messages to its audience. And the leftovers were just as great. Talk about a huge meal for a great price. It was like I was back home at the Villa.

Today's adventure took us to Little Tokyo where we dined at a local restaurant that was one of our leader's favorites. I've never feasted on Japanese until today as we sampled various items from the menu that I can neither spell nor pronounce. But even more so, afterwards we briefly toured the area observing the art, posters, and design around us in order to connect with an audience specific to the one we were in for our next project.

There is an element of treating others on your behalf that means the world to that person. Sometimes an individual is hungry, often physically but emotionally hungry for the connection for community. A simple embrace in conversation. A common thread across a table.

This element of serving and giving to others so simply is one I've experienced before. A snapple at the bagel shop. A mocha at the coffee shop. And the amazing thing is that is has a ripple effect, like this insurance company commercial I just saw. It catches on.

And I want to keep it going.

Fire destroys main building in Claiborne community

2007-06-21T16:49:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are CCO savy, an avid book reader of the author Shane Claiborne, a man who gives hope a place to rest in a neighborhood in Philadelphia, or you're a supporter of individuals in the urban regions of our country making a difference in the lives of people through relationships, this article will mean heaps to you. The Simple Way, Shane's community, lost a large, main building where their resources were kept for various things. For a in-depth report on the matter with a touch of the heart, stop by the Hearts and Minds BookNotes blog or the Simple Way website.

A Shower named Serenity

2007-06-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

American culture is sometimes so weird when you meet people from other parts of the world. One area of ambiguity is in the essense of time and busyness.

Busy.

I hate that word. It has a terrible taste that comes with it. The excuse
"I'm busy" gives me the willies because I used it like a right to excuse me from things just because "I'm busy". And then, in retrospect, the busyness was actually worthless.

If there's one major thing I learned this past year, it was about time management. In the fall after returning from the summer break in Ocean City, I found myself getting burned out faster than a bonfire admist a pouring rain at a potluck (never seen that before...). Then my mentor and I chit chatted as I was broken and exhausted. So exhasuted that the things I used to enjoy became tasteless and empty. Then it all made sense. I didn't rest. At all.

18 hour days. Up early, late to bed, and working througout the day without even a pause.

So I learned the meaning of rest. Beginning it was difficult. I couldn't unclutter my mind with the things of the day and what needed to be done, what I could be doing...and the list could go on forever. But putting myself into a place of rest and establishing rest in the pattern of my life has been an asset, a very valuable asset that even Christ used. Honestly, the crowds followed all the time, but he made a point to get away and refocus.

Because of my value of rest and also the pattern of my previous part time job at McLane, I am enjoying the lack of structure at this internship. It's initiatve based, being proactive, and jumping into your area of interest rather than just waiting for someone to give you a job. And because of this, I feel a better opportunity to find rest in reading a book, taking a run, journaling, or writing a blog.

When you learn to rest, you find places that give you a specific sense of serenity. It might not be a walk as it is for Susie down the street. Serenity looks different for everyone. A clean room. A great novel. A painting. A shower.

A shower.

The place the female interns are housed in until this monday aren't top of the line but rather a dorm like situation. Despite the awkward bed that is about to release a spring into my spleen while sleeping, there are some benefits. Laundry is realitivly cheap for California. The food service provides lots of fruit for lunch and dinner. And the showers are suberb.

I've always loved showers and baths. In fact, my goal for my own home someday is to have a round bathtub. I'm a shower fan, but a bathtub like that?! You can't deny it. It'sa slice of heaven. Water has always been a fasantation of mine whether it's the pool, a spa, or even a lake. I believe one of the reasons I enjoy washing dishes so much is because of the water trickling and running all over my hands. But showers each day are a blessing. Taken for granted.

Warm water. Hot water. Whatever you wish. Steady stream that is just right. Long, steamy showers that take you to a place where time stops and soap reigns. Thoughts can focus, thoughts can drift. Restoration. Peace.

Serenity.

So today, find your shower wherever it may be - indoors, outdoors, or lost in imagination or creativity.

Because resting is living with a healthy heartbeat.

A Trojan Cookout and T-shirts

2007-06-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

One of the ministry areas I requested here at Mosaic was college ministry since I seem to be sucked in a vortex of campus ministry since I left for Edinboro and truly eat it up. So it has turned out that my summer Tuesday's will offically be USC day as I head onto campus from 12:00PM in the afternoon to the late hours of 10 or 11PM when the frisbee is worn, the temperatures drop and the burgers sizzle upon the grill.

One imprtant and essential aspect of campus ministry is just being on campus. It's an element, I personally feel, that lacks in the ministry in Edinboro. Presence on campus. Just hanging out. It's similar to being in the office. Sometimes it's so much easier to just be in the building. The same is true with campus outreach.

So we started with a meeting yesteday afternoon with just five interns and three USC campus staff at Mosaic at a little coffee joint outside of campus for soup, a sandwich, and "a game plan", which consisted of having fun and establishing relationships. Who knew that just being yourself and having a great time really does something productive in a strategic manner. So we headed off to campus, took a walk, headed to the bookstore, and even viewed the countless Heisman trophies among the awards in the football adiministration building.

If you're a football fan, I know you're jealous, and yes, I am snickering.

So we headed back to McCarty Quad which appeared to be a picture right out of the brochure. Blue skies. Green trees. Fountains. Bicycles. sidewalks. Students reading. And the intern gang, throwing around the offical weight ultimate frisbee. This took place for quite sometime, just the three of us, chucking around the plastic disc with the fling of the wrist.

Then we had frisbee neighbors. So we invited them to play. I had to piddle from the tasty Jamba Juice delicasy that was sampled earlier, and when I returned, the crowd had multiplied, doubled, and we now had a team of Ultimate. A game started. Sweet moves were made. Ultimate is a great way to learn people's names. "PAT!" I yelled as I moved across the side of the field. You have to be quick on your feet with names when on the field. Without it, the thrower will never know if you're open.

After an epic game to 10 (which my team triumphed 10-8 woot woot) and then we headed back to the architect frat house on the row for the weekly cookout. For awhile it was just the Mosaic gang bringing out fruit cabobs and burgers to throw on the grill. Then our new-found frisbee friends showed up, and we ate together, exchanged names, swapped stories, used our hands to show people the map of Pennsylvania (ok, maybe that was just me), and made a date for next week's UF match-up.

Just show up and have fun. Bring down the walls. Be real. Talk to people. And listen to their story, because we are all on a spiritual journey. We're just at different places on the map.

So today I wear my USC t-shirt with pride. Not only was it the cheapest in the store (for which I always brag about the deals I get), but it rings true with having a kinship with USC. A weird analogy.

T-shirts.

There's this sense of "ownership" or "pride" in wearing t-shirts. Ladies know that wearing their beau's t-shirt is a sense of honor and connection even if it's two sizes bigger. There is sentiment. My Penn State shirt isn't the prettiest but I brought it to LA to represent. I don't attend PSU and pay their outrageous tutiton, but it's as if I live vicariously throught that university because of their pride and spirit. Today I represent USC because I believe in them. If you believe it in, you wear it somehow.

I believe God moves on campuses, Christian or not. Big or small. Expensive or cheap. Warm or cold. It's just a matter of getting out there and having fun, and inviting Him too.

And I make the commitment of putting on the clothing of Christ each day. To wear my Beloved with pride, passion, and commitment. From this I strive to make Christ more than apparel to a lifestyle, a part of my skin, flesh, blood, and soul. Wanting to be fashioned by Christ, never going out of style.

So here's to you, USC, for cookouts and t-shirts. I believe in you.

(photos now accessible in the link bar to the right under "Facebook Pictures...")

Finally at the Pacific

2007-06-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ever since I spent last summer in New Jersey on the shores of Ocean City, I have this deep longing for the ocean like never before. Family vacations didn't really occur in my family. One of my best friend's family goes on some week long adventure to hit every destination in the town. Mine takes day trips, and honestly, I don't feel like I missed out. I think these summer projects are making up for it.

So the Pacific Ocean and I became friends Thursday night. The smell of fish (odd, but a reminder of the sea), the sand between my toes, and the crashing of the waves that roll towards the shoreline. It was lovely.

Getting there was just about the same level of adventure. It took us two hours to reach the Santa Monica bay due to traffic and traffic...and more traffic. Thankfully, we had a car full of joksters who made the best of the moment. I was laughing so hard I was crying. You know it's a good laugh when your face hurts.

Speaking of hilarity, it appears by brother is having a good time in the outskirts of civilization. It's funny how much I can learn and see in his day to day by reading hios blog versus phone converstaions. Writing does more for some than others, and this is quite apparent in my older sibling.

This week is filled with all kinds of different tasks and assignments. Each day is like a new adventure. William Carey food line of 5 items or less, Ultimate Frisbee at USC, and the continunal car pooling here and there.

Expect the Unexpected

2007-06-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna lie.

This atmosphere at Mosaic is utterly amazing.

Sure, you throw around the word amazing like other words. Maybe it's a dog trick that is "amazing" or this sunny weather is "amazing" but the use of this word "amazing" goes back in a different direction. It's also "unique" and "raw", and it's coated in love.

The staff here love on people like no other. No jokes, no gimicks, it's pure love and it radiates energy from start to finish. They run at a different pace. Structure is a blessing, but it can also become an idol, like a prision enslaving the creative spirit. Believe me, I've seen how it can play out when I work with Andy. I can be overstructured, and he can be overflowing with unbridaled vision. You begin to see how to expect the unexpected. A delicate balance.

There is so much to create, so much to develop, so much to push for here at Mosaic in this internship. My deepest prayer is that God would use me, push me, hold me, and keep me close by his heart. It is out of our love for God that our passions will follow.

Go until you hear "no".

Play It Up.

2007-06-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

Pictures to the right - William Carey University
Administrative Offices for Mosaic

I used to believe I knew a lot about community. I have practically spent the last 10 month in community, which includes a roommate plus many others. I thought I knew a great deal. And then I came to California.

God keeps me on my toes, that is for sure. It seems to be the constant that when I become adjusted, he pulls the rug from underneath me and shows me a new rug I didn't even know I was standing on.

The group of interns here are a different breed than any other I've ever encountered. But don't read this the wrong way and percieve that this community is lacking. If anything, I believe they are the most hard core in some respects.

I've been observing and staying quiet for some reason lately, but I believe I am just taking a natural process, allowing myself to grow into the realm of community in my own fashion. These barbarians are prayer and spirit driven individuals who are desperatly seeking to serve and to sacrifice, to love people passionately. I'm challenged without saying a single word. Just observing.

Another thing I discovered about all communities through this gang from all over the world is that play is essential in so many ways. Whether it is laughing at hilarious childhood stories, splashing water in the bathroom, or playing an intense game of Ultimate Frisbee, play is a bonding glue that cannot be replaced. I see in the communities I've lived in the past, and I see it now. Laughter truly is a medicene that is irreplacable.

The weather is beautiful today. Like everyday, pretty much. I know, woe is me.

I believe my word for the summer is challenge. And my strength for the summer is my Beloved.

Lessons from Cleveland Street

2007-05-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

While on my "leave" from the hustle and bustle of the Boro, I have had the privledge to work and serve at the same time. Since I came back I've been watching this older lady, the mother of someone in my home church congregation. It's been my "mini" job that was designed to give me some funds for the summer adventure but also help out the family.

Once you live through the experience of housing an elderly person in your home, you look at the matter quite differently. Sure, they may have raised you, it's just your parents living with you when they don't know what time it is and when to take their pill, right? It's a common misconception, and it's something that you don't find printed in the newspapers or featured on Dateline. It's the daily, minute by minute sacrifice of children who become dominant care givers to their parents.

After living with my grandfather for three years, and seeing what a really big handful aging parents can be at times, I gladly accepted the offer to help out the family. My duties weren't extensive at all. I helped with the basic needs like assisting with meals, fetching ice cold water, proping up feet, helping move her from side to side. Nothing extraordinary by my means. This lovely lady looked milder than mild compared to my grandfather, who'd we find doing all sorts of random, dangerous, and nutty things in the house.

I said my goodbyes tonight to the family since it was my last night of staying with them for a few hours while they could go here and there to relax. It was a great honor to be a part of their family for the two weeks I was home. But I didn't realize how hard it would be to say goodbye to Doris, my 80+ pal for hours of television, potty sessions, and cookie fetching. I hugged everyone and left Doris for last, giving her a kiss and a hug, knowing that full well it might be the last time I see her. Sure, anyone could pass away at anytime, not my doings, but when it's more prevelent with an aging person, you begin to think harder.

I didn't expect to become attached by any means, but I did. And I left the house and drove away, with not a single ounce in me wanting to blast music from my iPod or sing a jazzy song. All I did was mediate the emotions that were running through my heart.

It's funny. Sometimes I hate my hometown and sometimes I soak it in, savoring every blink of the eye. Stepping into Wal-Mart results in seeing 4 people you know, some of which you would rather go without seeing. Other times I gaze off into the hills and landscapes that are serenaded by crickets and birds.

Someday I would enjoy having a home that doesn't change so much. I often feel like my heart is torn from all different things, and it becomes exhausting. Usually I am pulled from those landscapes back to a small town from northern PA. Home, school, home school. For goodness sakes, I'm going to California. Sometimes I wonder where this path is going, but that's all I can do - is wonder. Figuring out where every move is ahead of time is burning that time.

It's been encouraging to hear the excitement from people about my new endevor to Pasadena. The family I stayed with reminded me of it. It's what community is for - to remind each other of things we sometimes forget without knowing it. When they read my letter, they expressed how they could feel the excitement and passion.

It's there, it just gets buried with junk, and sometimes people have to come in your life and sweep it away. Brush it off. And tell you that what your doing is wonderful, a great oppritunity. Sometimes it's great to hear it because sometimes you don't hear it from the people that matter a lot to you. And then more junk develops.

I'm not positive why God opened the doors to me this summer. My fianances aren't great. The idea is nuts. But man, did he ever talk to me and put me in this place. And all I can do is say "Yes" because I yearn to be madly in love a little more each day. And what a lover he is.

The Unknown Privledge

2007-05-22T13:31:00.001-07:00

In the line at a store.

On the phone with a clerk.

Having a resume reviewed.

Being caught in the tangled webs of higher education forces you to make a lot of important calls and appearances to different office in order to obtain aid, credits, or whatever be the matter. And it's been hitting me lately about the influence I have, and I'm only a white woman.

I believe there is a lot of bias that goes on. In face, I'm pretty sure of it. And as a single white american woman, I stop and wonder about about the privledge of the white american man. I feel that many do not understand the immediate advantage that can be given to them without even thinking. Even in my own instances, I don't notice the "advantage" I may have over someone who is discriminated because of color, or race, or sex. And it makes me wonder what I can do understand it more, to lend a helping hand, and to stop my own discriminations that go on inside.

It's crazy - the whole indiscrimination bit - and it's so vain. We could all care less about the hair color of our best friend or the color of eyes of our spouse, because we know their story, we see more than appearance. Imagine seeing the world with a different set of glasses. A prescription for our eyes that would go straight to our hearts. Or vice versa.

Because people are worth dying for. Infinite worth. So much worth, it's screamed in each breath and each beat of a heart. Value and worth.

What a vacation looks like

2007-05-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Brakes are a funny thing, especially on automobiles. Either they slow us down because we see caution or reason to slow down ahead or we see caution and must stop as soon as possibly. It appears that I have pulled the breaks on my lifestyle right now, and the whiplash is weird.

What does vacation look like? It's getting 10 hours of sleep, watching TV programs you didn't really plan on watching, and taking naps right before bed for the reason of just "feeling like it". It's hard to leave contiunous months of community to a quiet house shared by myself and pets during the day. It's the calm before the storm, or the "different" vacation, also called "California".

Even though it appears that my vacation thus far is a laid back approach to a summer with a bowl of Cherrios over the show of Ellen at 10:00AM, it's therapeutic. It's time for a rest. A time for a slow down. And rest it shall be. To savor the day, savor the moment of home, the blessing of family, the gift of friendships, and to bask in the presense of an all-powerful God.

What a vacation looks like? I'm not really sure. I'm not close to the tropics at all. But a slow down and a drawing near, that's what I want.

The Art of the Saturday

2007-03-10T20:32:00.000-08:00

There are a million reasons why I love living in the house oppose to the dorm like AKA cement block coldness. But one in particular that makes the experience of house life even better is the concept of Saturday.

Saturday in the dormitories never felt right. I had to shuffle downstairs to the empty cafe and scrounge some milk and cereal, eat alone at my desk, and eventually would make my way over to the house I reside at now, because it did become my second home. Saturdays are one of my favorite days at home because, frankly, anything can happen! Projects take place, shopping outings are made, relatives are visited, relatives visit us, you know the drill. Best part is summer hits the area and the evenings are spent on the front porch admiring the fresh-cut grass as the lightning bugs make their way out onto the playing field as dusk approaches.

Saturdays are perfect for spontaneity at the house. I endlessly change my plans throughout the day, even hating to make a decision to do something. From Erie to the afternoon jog, the house life is so much warmer. Breakfast is at a table with people I love. Breakfast can be eggs, or cereal, or even oatmeal. The morning can be spent reading. The night can be spent on movies or a trip.

Saturdays- they're great days.

Have I Mentioned?

2007-03-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

It's funny how just a few words can make your day. For instance, have I mentioned how hilarious my brother is? In his latest blog, he left me bent over laughing in the empty lab. These are the words of the Ridgwaian sage:

"In a total unrelated topic, I think a lot of the ladies are going on the fake n' bake circuit getting ready for spring break to show off their redness to complete strangers on the beach. Have fun with the artificial sunlight ladies."

The kicker of the situation is that I've been debating about this whole "tanning escapade" that has swept campus since spring has sprung. It's the annual fake bake season where the girls are golden while it's still snowin'.

I believe what frustrates me the most as a 100% albino creature, is that white skin is subjected as something else. It denotes laziness, unattractiveness, and a hermit lifestyle in the summer months. Apparently, those who are tan feel more confidant, athletic, so the magazines rave. I don't understand why white skin is a concept that appears to be socially beat with the ugly stick.

I don't especially like to pick fun at those tanning-hungry individuals that enjoy a nice period of relaxation because it is a choice, much like eating pint of ice cream or something along those lines. You could even read between the lines and say that I would tan if I was capable. But on the other hand, would I? Who's to say what that answer would be. But for now, embracing whiteness is the tightness. Its taking the skin we're in, being a steward of it, and taking what the Creator has given to us, and being thankful.

The Undertoe of Frozen Toe

2007-02-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

It's been weeks since the last posting and it has become apparent that the weather has take the turn towards winter, esepcially with the plumbing temperatures in the area. I love snow, I think it's beautiful, but so is blood circulation. It's hard to see the beauty when you can't see out of your eyes.

But other than temperatures have caused a stir in other areas than just epidermis. Students all over campus are humbling themselves by hitting patches of ice, some resulting in bone breaking action. It's a risk you take when you live in Edinboro. It's the way life functions around here, and you eventually get used to it.

Like the concept of snow. Some reguard an inch of accumulation enough to keep them inside for the next 24 hours. A foot of snow may get recognized in this snowbelt area. Astounding.

Being on the college campus, it's interesting to hear students consistanty complain against the weather. Of course, I'd love to ask them why they are attending this frozen igloo of a university if their blood runs with caribbian passion, but then you get the lamo excuse of "scholarship", or the program, expense, and so on. But isn't that life? You get served these plump, little lemons, and you have to make lemonade, or popsicles.

Either way, there's room for a whimper, but an outlandish statement of disapproval heeds no great response of sympathy. The weather may surprise you, but that's the undertoe of frozen toe, if you can still feel them.

Rain vs. Snow

2007-01-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

I'm quite jealous.

Denver is swamped with mountains of radiating, fluffy, white snow and Edinboro, snow capital of Pennsylvania, is bare and wet with ....rain.

Where was winter gone? Was there an unexpected vacation of old man winter? With all this precipitation, I'm starting to wonder what is was we polluted now.

I must be honest: I don't miss bundling up like I am stepping out into the artic every morning. But if March comes and snow doesn't, it will be as if a child was stripped of all Christmas spirit in a holiday movie.

Besides...Edinboro has a reputation. Two hours south they get flurries - two hours north, my turf, is layered with a foot and a half of the frozen, crystalized magic,

Oh snow, where did you go?

Back to the 1st Grade

2007-01-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

Let's start out with a shoutout: Happy Birthday Brother - another year of age is upon you!

Now, to the blog-ness:

Life lessons can often be found in the simplest of places, like a kindergarten classroom. One that comes to mind is "everyone makes mistakes", a popular favorite for your guilt-ridden child who just broke a window and is seeking forgiveness through groveling or a rushing flow of kiddie tears. Either way, it applies to everyone, and it's funny how.

I made a mistake today (yes, even "perfection" is not so perfect. Ok, I know you're rolling your eyes, I would be too). Anyway, I made a mistake, and said I was sorry, and the offended, well, victim, umm, each word I use here sounds terrible, so let's just say that the other person said it was fine, I didn't know, the usual. But gee, I still do feel awfully bad about it.

I have a terrible nature of feeling bad about something I did, said, or even didn't do. By digging into the recesses of my memory, I can still pick out classic l.k blunders. It's amazing how one can remember the worst moments in this adventure of life and feel a trickle of sadness and embarrassment arises. I know everyone makes mistakes, but it's hard to let them go.

Maybe there is this nature to perfection that is stressed in culture that we really miss the point that perfection isn't in the design. If perfection were in the design plan, there wouldn't be burnt toast, missed shots, and terrific meals at home.

Actually, the meals at home are good. But how can you miss a shot at someone else's cooking? It was wide open. I had to take it.

I have no problem whatsoever forgetting wrongs done to me. It's hard to remember what I wore yesterday, even today when I'm wearing it, so what is the likely hood of me remembering so many "wrongs" or mistakes?

No doubt, some words stick with you. It's hard to let go of the moments when people make innuendos not to get chubby over the holidays or when words are spoken without thought that stab the heart and slice it in half.

But all in all, there is faith in a healer. And that healer is like none other. He was perfection, He heals - it's like neosporin for your heart. Apply and see.

Apply and see.

How may I help you?

2007-01-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

I've headed back to school early for a receptionist job at the church I work for with my part-time job during the school year. They were hard up for a replacement to buy them some more time before they found a new replacement and my name was pulled up. I happily accepted the job because, let's be honest people, a grocery store at minimum wage just doesn't cut it. Plus, sitting versus standing wins by a landslide. This is a nice chair too - wheels even.

Phones are weird. It's like there's a secret method and I keep missing the last step. Good thing I'm not an undercover spy, I'd be blowing up the joint because at the last minute of time left on the bomb, I would sit and ponder "was it the blue or the red I cut?"

All in all, this job is ooper nice. Sure, 8 hours a day, but it's the working world, and I'm their woman! The money is good, the people are great, and it's still not snowing in the area (but the call is still out whether I like that concept. Yes, another day without the snow brush and gloves but it's one less day in April that I can hopes of the summer to come.)

...plus, I've got this great heater under the desk to keep me warm AKA make me feel like my legs are in the Mexican heat on vacation while my hands remain a chilly zero degrees.

Welcome 2007 - how may I help you?

Just go to bed

2006-12-28T21:11:00.000-08:00

I'm a night owl these days, which has come to a surprise to me. Vacation does a lot of things to people, and it's weird.

For instance, I'm so laid back. Honestly, my schedule might appear busy but on a day off around the house I plan lunch around The Young and the Restless. I wish some of the storylines were better right now. Jack is much too old for Sharon, and I don't even know who the murdered Carman is.

I've also been sleeping in past 9 or 10, which is a change from the Boro when I love to get up and start at the day around 8 or 9. Now I forget about the alarm and let my brain do the dinging.

Now I've been staying up doing mindless things like balancing my checkbook, re-designing my blog, watching the Late Show with David Letterman and Seinfeld, and of course, sitting here blogging and surfing the net.

I'm hungry. Hmm.

Anyway, I really should just go to bed. It's funny how I can feel great right now and feel like a mule kicked me right in the face when the sun rises several hours later. I know this about myself like the back of my hand. I may be laughing and smiling when I head to bed, but soak it up, my friend, you better not speak to me for at least an hour after I've awoken in the morning.

Again, the laziness of vacation is tormenting me, and that 10:00AM shift at the store is haunting me because I know I'll be setting the alarm tonight (which fortunately has a nice ring to it).

The bed beckons and I shall obey.

Humble yourself, mudslider

2006-12-26T18:54:00.000-08:00

Humility does either one of two things: it sneaks up on your and whispers in your ear or it makes itself known with a bullhorn at the least convenient moment.

Especially when you wipe out in your front yard.

But I received both kinds. My foolish spill was unseen but I was feeling humility as I became the penitent woman of God.

The story starts with my father departing from our driveway with my grandmother in the car, taking her home after a visit for the holiday. As they turned onto the tar and chipped road, my mother and I noticed they had left without some items for my Grandmother and I quickly used the front porch light like an S.O.S. blinker on a ship to catch their attention.

The crafty military thinking was a success and they pulled back into the driveway as I threw on my mother's size 9 tennis shoes and scampered out in the rain that that poured all day long rather than the seasonal fluffy substance known as "snow" (real snow is found in Edinboro, when you get it by the buckets, rather by a sprinkle here and there from the sky, but that's another story).

Where was I? Oh yes, scampering...well, scampering turned into a good jog out to the car. After placing the items in the backseat, I turned back towards the house scampering at even a quicker rate. Some might call it running. I like to call it scampering, it has a youthful feeling to it.

I've never been big on math, not quite a buff or pro, but I think we can predict the answer to this formula.

rain all day long + size 9 shoes on a size 6 foot + "scampering" + mud factor

So I'm taken by surprise when the shoe twists backwards and twists my ankle in that uncomfortable fashion, the one where you saw "oh shoot, it really hurts, it's not broken, but it really hurts, dang, I hate when this happens" and I made I terrific slide in the mud via kneecap.

My second thought, after the first being "ouch squared", was "oh Lord, may no one happen to witness that". Thankfully, no one did as I hobbled to the house and torn between laughing and crying, but muddy knee caps don't lie. Besides, laughing won, and oh, it still continues.

My foot is still tender today. And I keep laughing every time I feel it.

Humility - it keeps your feet on the ground, and sometimes brings you to your knees.

As a kid

2006-12-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

It's funny to reflect upon the day, it really is. You never really realize how much you deeply think about the events of a day until you sit back, stare at a blank spot on the wall, and start thinking about things that wouldn't even dream of pondering about in the midst of the daily rush of activities.

Today is Christmas, and it was a wonderful Christmas. The usual occurred around the ranch: a sparse breakfast to save room for the large, celebratory meal planned sometime in the afternoon, the opening of gifts, bringing out my grandmother to the house and hearing about who's with who, who moved where, and who's down with this illness, sitting around the livingroom listening to Christmas music and chatting about what comes to mind, the post meal pie around six or seven, and maybe a late night movie around the old television for those who can still keep their eyelids open after the turkey.

So after the rush of these things, I sit a ponderin' at the computer thinking about the days ahead, and I realized that sometimes I'd love to be a kid again. Now some precursors: I'm not wishing to go back to those middle school years or have my driving license revoked. But rather reflecting as a child, Christmas was a seemingly long vacation filled with a week of consuming attention by the new toys and gadgets and eating leftovers until the very last of whatever was least popular.

In my own personal opinion, I think we suck the childlike life out of ourselves and replaced it with "stuff". In fact, it's probably some proven statistic in a lab somewheres. People have written books, I've read bits of them, and it makes a whole lot of sense. It seems that our holiday is work and then an immediate rush back to more work.

Ah, but I'm not here to point out America's probably like some hippie or critical, analytical grouch, I'm here to write about how I love being a kid sometimes by sleeping in, eating out of the ice cream carton, and getting excited about simple things like snow. In fact, these things that we sometimes overlook may seem childish, but I think it's simply human.

Holey Cow

2006-10-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

Well, how does one explain herself? This more or less feels like one of those excuses you tell your parents after they wait up all the long hours of the night catch you sneaking into the house at 3AM with fun written all over your face.

Here goes nothing:

College ate my blog life.

Seriously, it did. Sometimes certain things in life take hold of other things. College saw the blog, feasted heavily upon it's time, and has digested blog life until now - a brief moment in the night to update and report my living existence on this earth, although it is often debated due to my poor circulation. (My mother's quote often comes in handy to remedy such cold situations: "cold hands, cold feet, warm heart.")

But alas! Sleep is so sweet, and I am off to become the master of such a treasure. I do miss writing, I am jealous of my brother's new-found time to post his random thoughts. Maybe someday you will click, and you will read, and it won't be three months old.

So long for now, I shall return someday. :)

PS- Just a very quick update - the summer was AMAZING.

Summer Blogging Siesta

2006-06-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

“It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the tack with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decision to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose LOVE…

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I chose love. Today I will love God and what He loves.

I choose JOY…

I will invite my God to be my circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical, the tool of a lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything but less than human beings, created by God. W will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose PEACE…

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so I man live.

I choose PATIENCE…

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment and pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose KINDNESS…

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God treated me.

I choose GOODNESS…

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be over-looked before I boast. I will confess before I accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose FAITHFULNESS…

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word.

I choose GENTLENESS…

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I choose SELF-CONTROL…

I am a spiritual being – after this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self control.”

"Without you Lord, my day has no direction; no service loses its purpose. May you guide each step of mine today, teaching me to be faithful in everything I do. May my life be to the praise of your glory.”

I found these passages at the Potter’s House when I was visiting Edinboro a week ago. They really touched me as I read them over and recorded them into my journal, so I thought they would be a great farewell post until August.

I will be packing up and heading out of Kittanning to Ocean City, New Jersey for eight weeks on Saturday. Why the extended beach vacation? Well, let me explain.

I was approached by my campus minister about a year ago about an opportunity called the Ocean City Beach Project. The OCBP is designed to be a time of intense learning and development for students with a heart for the world and a passion for Heaven. It is dedicated to better equip us as leaders and as disciples of Christ for our time in college and in the years beyond. The two-month Beach Project will take place in Ocean City, New Jersey and will consist of four CCO staff and 25 students. Our schedule will include classes, Bible studies, worship, meals together, a local job, and in the little remaining time I’ll be connecting with my housemates and having fun together. After fervently praying about this decision for several months, I knew that God was leading me to a summer I’ll never forget.

I’m nervous and excited to go, for I know this will be an unforgettable summer, one I will look back on for the rest of my life. Although my communication is cut down to some phone calls, occasion e-mails, and everyone’s favorite snail mail, I will always keep in touch one way or the other!

So here’s to you having a great summer filled with sunny rays, warm temperature, and maybe even a little sand in your shoes. God bless, and see you in August!

Gems and Jewels

2006-05-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

No one can really put a price on motherhood. I think it's beautiful that everyone has a mother, it's such an intrinsic and majestic value, and today I am thankful to have the wonderful mother I do. To the left is a photograph of my mother holding my baby cousin when she was a newborn.

Today in church a fond memory jogged my mind as I wandered during the message (whoops!) I remember sitting next to my mother when I was young. I would squeeze my whole body on the brown, fabric pew and reaching out to touch my mother's jewelry. No matter what occasion, she had something different on that sparkled and shimmered. I would reach out to touch, and she would take off rings and bracelets and let me try them on. I would slide the rings on my fingers and smile as they would dangle from my skinny little fingers and imagined what it would be like to wear real rings someday, rings that fit and looked so marvalous just like hers.

As I sat in church next to my buddy from Penn State and he whispered to me what stone was in my my ruby ring, the one that belonged to my grandmother from my mother's side of the family. I took it off and let him slide it on his pinky and look at it from all angles, and it reminded me of my mother and how I would look at it the same way (not to belittle my friend by saying he was acting like a child, he's really quite smart). Then he inspected my other ring, from the other grandmother on my Dad's side of the family, and he tried it on for size. Who knew that playing with rings in church could be so memory-jogging.

Have a Happy Mother's Day everyone :)

A Grad Finale

2006-05-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

When you take a pause and look back, you begin to realize that time truly does fly. It seems like yesterday that my brother, my cousin, and I were playing crazy eights on old S67 to pass the time for the hour long ride home. But today my brother graduated from college, and everyone's left asking themselves "When did that happen?"

No more dorm move in's to old SRU, no more laundry heaps to wash before Sunday evening - maybe it's about time he graduated! I feel it's been a great four years there for him, so I'd like to take this time to say congrats to the brotha from the same motha on a job well done!

After sitting in the fieldhouse for about 2 hours watching hundreds of graduates walk across the platform, we snapped some pictures (above) and then headed out to the Texas Roadhouse. Something funny that made me chuckle was when we ran into a classmate of my brother's from high school and his family. My parents know his parents, they went to high school together, my brother and their son went to high school together, you get the picture. But what made me laugh was their grandmother who would shake their head in disbelief that my brother graduated, and then to top it off, they looked at me and couldn't fathom the fact that I'm going into my third year of college myself.

Earlier we had been introduced to the president of the university. He and my brother have ate meals together, so he's a good one to put on the reference form when it comes to a resume. We were chatting, the family and I, and he asked about school for me and I stated I was going into my Junior year and Edinboro, and his eyes did one of those weird twitches, kind of like what would happen if you saw a dog talk back. He seemed like a nice guy, had good things to say about my school, which is always a good move, and had great things to say about brother.

It's so funny how society does this radical shift, at least for women. In the teens, most girls want to look ten years older than what they really are, and then give them those ten years and they quickly change their mind, hit the comsmetic isle, and try to reverse their wish. As for me, I love looking like a kid because, well, it's me and I can't much about that, and 10 years down the road, I'm going to save some money. Muaha. Probably helps that I'm tan-defeicent, my skin will be spectacular, like it isn't already, haha.

My brother and I have both agreed it's good to be done for the summer, even though he's done forever for the most part, at least for now. We're both pooped and ready for a break. My schedule next week is already filling up, but it's filling up in a manner that goes something like:

Mon: work
Tue: lunch with friend
Wed: friends

Eat, sleep, and play. As the great artery-clogging food chain would say: "I'm lovin' it".

So summer is upon us, or at least college students and other students who will bust out of the rooms and step into the sunlight for some personal enjoyment of nature and all its wonder. And when you have time on your hands, you find that you blog more often, so there's the hint that I'm back to the blogging game, well, at least until June 10th when I leave for New Jersey, and this has turned into a ridiculous run on. Did anyone else catch that? I'm too lazy to change that, so I guess you'll just have to deal with that one. Sorry folks.

Time to bust out and return to slowly unpacking my things, which now requires me to move around my room, which requires energy that I don't have, which requires that job to be for tomorrow. As for now, I'll play the dilly-dally game! Peace out!

Fabulous Friday

2006-04-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings ya'll! Wow, it seems like a decade since I've blogged. Does anyone still read this? Seriously, is there life at the other end of this ol' blog out there? Oh well, here I am typing.

I love weekends now, mostly because I am starting to de-stress. This semester has been hetic, as you can probably tell from the lack of posts, and when I did post, it was like a Stop N' Go kind of post, like a woman when she is pressed for time doing her hair and saying "I'll be down in five minutes!". It's really not five minutes, it's more like 15.

The picture you see is me and my cousin at a bowling get-together back home over Easter Break. Him and that emo hair! Gotta love him!

But I must say, yesterday was one awesome Friday, and I'm not kidding. Usually during the week it's an endless rush of things to do and places to go, but Friday was just perfect, and I thank God for that.

It started off with my 11:00 class getting cancelled, which meant there was no quiz, and I could hang around. From there, I had lunch with two of my former art teachers that were in Edinboro for the day because of some workshops going on for alumi. After that I worked in the lab on my typography projects till around 4:00, then went for a run that lasted 35 minutes! It was amazing, totally awesome. After that, I hung around the Potter's House and chatted while I cooled down, went back to the dorm room, took a much needed showa, and headed off to a campfire with friends and didn't come back till 4:00. I can't tell you the last time I was up that late. Actually, I can, it was Nov. 2004, I was up playing scrabble with my bowling team. (wild life I live!)

So needless to say, yesterday rocked my socks and every stress molecule in my took a hike, and hopefully it stays there. I've been getting these "stress headaches" in the afternoon each day and it's really agrrivating because of schedules and such. Ahh, fabulous Friday...

So I'm off again this lovely weekend! Finals are coming around the corner and there is a small quiet and peace before the storm, so I guess all I can do is sit back and enjoy it! Have a blessed weekend!

Jesus Calms the Storm

"One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.

The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"

He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.
In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."

Luke 8:22-25

Whether calm or stormy weather, God is in control :)

Remember Me?

2006-04-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

Remember Me? The person who has this blog?

No? Really? I could have swore she stopped by here about a month ago...

...go figure. It's been brought up that it's been close to a month since the lsat post. Good news is that she is still alive. Bad news is that she's probably on wanted posters because there are sightings of her here and there.

Well, anyway, it appears she's been having the most hectic time as far as schedules, meetings, programs, and everyone's favorite - homework. Swamped would be a good word. Congested, smothered, cramped, I think you get the idea.

Well, anyway, she had a passion for re-designed the blog but just didn't have the motivation. She hasn't had time to read others and she barely has had the time blog herself, or not blog at all.

So then year is coming to a close, and maybe she'll start a new game called "catch-up". For now, catch ya'll later.

Oh, and enjoy the picture that was taken at Target. It's titled "The Circle of Life" only in plastic version, although I doubt hippos eat baby monkeys and lion cubs probably can't bring down a hippo, but hey, with plastic animals, anything is possible.

A Message From Your Friendly Neighborhood Trapping Expert:

2006-03-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry for falling off the face of the earth, although it was fun and I have a great scrapbook in the process, but I will return sometime after this weekend to retell the fond memories of the Bebo Norman concert and the great challenge and adventure of having five, yes five, of my guy friends stay with me for the weekend. You may now call a prayer request hotline and fervently start asking for some kind of deliverance. It won't be that bad, it'll be very interesting. I love fun weekends. Hope you have one too! (But make it through the week first, alright? Alright.)

I'll Be Back...

Peace out!

PS - Sale and Gander Mountain, check it out! 50% off all winter gear!

Kickin Back and All That

2006-03-13T17:13:00.000-08:00

Vacation is great. It's a whole lot of nothingness, visiting, eating, chillin around the house. I was even excited about getting a shower because I could make it as hot as I wanted. (But with me in the shower, how could it get any hotter?) I couldn't let that line go.

But despite my removal from Edinboro, I have been advocating the Bebo Norman concert heavily. I've send out mass e-mails to my friends from back home in Kittanning by included all the details and information to interest them in coming up north to Edinboro for the event of the year.

For those of you who don't know what in Moses' name I'm gibbering about, here's the info:

THE WORSHIP THING

Opener: The Gathering Band
Main Performer: Bebo Norman
When: March 31st, 2006
Where: McLane Church
Time: Doors open at 6:06
Concert starts at 7:07
Tickets: ONLY $5.00

Aside from signing up people for the concert, I visited with my gal pal B. I went to high school with B and still keep in touch with her despite the distance. She's a great friend and we always have a blast shopping together, even though some of our bargain days seem lacking. We always find a good time.

I am currently dogwatching for my friend K. Her family went on a family vacation, a cruise in fact, in Key West and around the Florida area. They drove down Friday and Satruday and will return a week later. So for the time being I'm a pro tennis ball thrower and on high alert when I walk since the dog is like a furry little anklet- always one step ahead or behind you - you never know. But she's a cutey, even though I feel that Indy is probably a tad jealous, he keeps giving me this look expressing a kind of disgust that would sound something like "How dare you pet her and tend to her needs at the drop of a hat and leave me here panting", even if he isn't panting. But I love Indy, he's my doggy pal and he's #1 in my heart.

Well, it's off to be ultra-unproductive - peace out!

Bring on the Break

2006-03-11T10:29:00.000-08:00

I'm back home for the triumphal spring break 2006, which consists of wild restaurant visit, riskay locations like Wal-Mart of Shop N' Save, and hanging out with a rough crowd, like my Dad and his scratchy beard. Needless to say, I'm keeping this Spring Break low-key and kicking back.

I am feeling much better after the attack of cold/sinus/allergy/flu whatever it was. I even exercised today, which is a good start. I knew I started to retain my old spunk back when I started running up stairs again. My nose still feels like sandpaper but nothing Aveeno lotion and love and care can't heal. (Although I don't exactly know how you "love and care" for a nose. Massage cartiledge? Who knows.)

I drove home yesterday making terrific time (cough, cough) and wasn't in my house two hours until I was out the door in a rush. The Pine Street boys, fellows I spend many of my high schools days with, even though they attended another high school. We all met through youth group and have remained friend since then. They are quite a bunch, loud, crazy, but really nice guys when you dig beneath the ice cream, video games, candy, and madness. Believe me, it takes awhile, lol. Just kidding guys.

We watched the movie "Failure to Launch" which fooled a lot of the boys into thinking that the movie was a sci-fi flick about airplanes or the space shuttle, rather than a chick flick about a 30 year old who won't move out of his parent's house. I thought it was good, hilarious, and of course, anything starring Matthew McConughey (in the left photograph) is worth seeing.

Then we traveled over to King Family restaurant, a version of John's Pizza in Edinboro only expensive and way too formal. The broccoli and Cheese soup was pretty tasty, although it didn't help the love handles. But compared to the boys, I ate sparingly as they woofed down waffle cakes and milk shakes like there was no tomorrow.

On another note, it's good to be home and eat real food, have a real breakfast, take a shower with temperature regulation control, and to simply relax at the homestead. Tonight's adventures include a return to SNS to visit a few fellow co-workers still stuck in the grind of bagging and clean up calls and later going to hang with C at JT's house to play Halo and talk, the usual relaxing and such. But anyway, it's time to hit the road, or at least head upstairs. It might be 50 out, but it's still 30 degrees in this basement. Reminds me of Edinboro...go figure! Keep it real and make sure to check the correct movie descriptions before you head out to the movie, you might get swooned rather than shot at.

The Donkey is Down and Out

2006-03-07T13:20:00.000-08:00

Greetings oh faithful blog reader. You are to be commended for holding out so long since the last posting. Here's a cookie.

Well, I wish I could have a cookie, because I feel like I got my butt kicked. I picked up some strain of allergy/cold complete with the runny nose that is strong enough for a marathon, aches that are finally receeding, and all that glorious stuff. I've been holding out well for months now, I haven't been ill since November. It always hits when I go on vacation, I'm a living Murphy's law.

Oh, but today is a little better, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Even the sun is shining in Edinboro, and I can sit in the upright position long enough to type. I skipped my first class this morning, which, in my mind, was a wise choice. First off, the class is public speaking and I gave my speech last week, thank goodness. So today's class would have consisted of listening to babbling of other students while I sat in misery. Not saying their speeches would be considered babbling, but just saying I would not be in any position to sit and listen intently. This morning I took a shower, ate some breakfast, and went to class, then to work. And I'm done for the day. Hoorah.

Yesterday was the 7 hour visit to the Potter's House which consisted of the movie fest which included greats like " Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark", "Sabrina", and "Notting Hill". Those girls at the house are amazing. I was fed, blanketized, massaged, and offered anything I could even imagine. God is good. He has blessed me very much. And to make me smile yesterday, I recieved an unexpected call from my buddy at Penn State, who is currently home on Spring Break. We compared schedules and discovered we can do lunch this Saturday, which make me a happy camper.

Until then, it's an army of sudafed, nyquill, and claritin (not all at the same time) that has been injected into my bloodstream trying to kill whatever that is trying to kill me. Killing is not good, but can be justifed sometimes, haha.

As for now, it's time to be ultra-unproductive again. Have a good week, and drink your orange juice.

An Illustration of Team RamRod

2006-03-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

The RamRodian Way

2006-03-03T11:53:00.000-08:00

This is a picture that was taken two weeks ago at a "reunion" style RamRod bowling Wednesday. The member on the far right of the picture with blonde hair is a returning member from the Spring 05 semester. He left later that summer for Marine traning and didn't return to school this year because his training and such was extended. But the hopeful word on the street, or at least to us, is that he'll return to Edinboro for the Fall semester of 2006-2007 academic year. He's alright signed the lease to an apartment with the guy to the farthest left, K, so he better return! We miss him bunches, he's a nice guy. Out of several guys I know, these would be the two guys I would want to walk down a dark alley with, not saying I do it often or at all. But they are like big brothers, strong, protective, and a little crazy. ;)

I completed one Mid-Term today in my Persuasion and Propaganda class, which consisted of 3 complete essays in 15 mintues, 3 essays among 12 that were on the studyguide we recieved Wednesday. Needless to say, I'm a praying girl to begin with, but for test like this, there is no shame in getting a prayer chain started in that class! I feel I did half decent, had just enough time, and went on my merry way to fully celebrate a Friday. Earlier in my 10:00 I got back my test from Monday and recieved an unexpected 95%. *clicking of the heels*

My parents are coming to visit this weekend. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I'm sure the weekend will be fine, and that all kinds of hilarity will occur. Maybe they will have a little more respect for my dorm life after they rough it out for a night, not saying they don't have any respect as it is. I can't complain, I'm going to be living in a house next year.

Speaking of the house, I keep thinking of reasons why I am going to do a double heel click when I haul the last thing out of my psychological cubical cell. One of them is the showers. In Rose, the temperature for the ENTIRE building is universal. Which means, if you're the only one in the showers on your floor, you can live. If someone else gets in a shower stall, you're burning. A third person enters, and call CSI to investigate if they can find any of your remains since they were insinerated.

Another reason of jubilation would be the ceasing of 2:30AM fire drills, like the one this past Wednesday morning. Shocking, but I don't enjoy hauling my butt out of bed to then freeze it off along with my feet and hands while waiting to re-enter the building. Apparently, people in college still have trouble popping popcorn, the cause for the evacuation. Fantastic. If we're going to have a drill, let's make it a good one and light up a couch or something.

I'm deeply sorry if this sounds like complaining, really, it's just minor storytelling. Adventures keep things fresh, even if it's as simple as a fire drill or a grilling in the shower. I'm not saying I enjoy them, but they do make the memories, don't they?

Speaking of jubilation earlier, the conference I attended, Jubilee, was awsome. It's a conference about combining faith and career, and challenging also. I learned a great deal, had a lot of fun, and missed a lot of sleep. But oh well, the sleep returned, took awhile, but I'm up to par. But besides that, Jubilee was awesome. So awesome that I signed my friends K,H,K, and I to sponsor a child through Compassion International. It's a great foundation, started out small in the 1960's after the Korean War, and helps over 600,000 children in over 20 countries.

Well, it's time to be productive. I have some things waiting on me, like homework. Too bad it can't catch a bus or something. Because in a week, this chick's bus is heading home for SPRING BREAK! Peace out!

Grin from Ear to Ear

2006-02-22T16:13:00.000-08:00

Spring is the air, but I think it might be deceiving. I've caught a breath or two of the fresh, rich smell a few times already, but considering that it's Edinboro and February isn't even over with, I'm sure it's a false alarm. But it sure does warm my heart and invigorate my senses to see that someday it will be warm.

The winter here hasn't been all that horrible and wretched as predicted (knock on wood). And as I said, old man winter is still kicking. There's still snow on the ground but on the way back from class I noticed how the snow was melting, something that rarely happens in this arctic tundra I call my second home.

Coming back from that class I observed two other things, one of those being the amount of sunlight that is still around when I leave the building at 5:30PM. Each day the sun's beautiful streams are lasting a little long. As I enjoyed the brisk walk back to my dorm room, I noticed a vast flock of geese flying over. At first, I didn't know whether to continue walking or take cover due to my white coat. But I was too thrilled to see them all fly above, squawking back and forth as if they were evaluating the in-flight movie with each other.

The noises and smells are different everyday, whether if be huge flock of birds traveling above or the littlest sound like a student sneezing. I often pass people on the sidewalks with their ipods a goin' and their heads bobbin' but I rather have the mental vacation on the way to class, and the awareness of the bus approaching as it plans to run me over from behind.

Yesterday was Reading Day, also know as "should have been an official holiday you have off for a four day weekend but you're not that lucky" day. But a day off is a day off, and I enjoyed it to the fullest. All the great things in life were combined on Reading day: Sleeping in, breakfast, reading, working out, the gathering, eating 3 slices of pizza, and such. My heart might disagree about the choice of the last event, but my taste buds did quite the happy dance. Too bad my thighs will join in with them and do the happy giggle.

Oh, and just throwing this out there - does anyone know any information about orthodics and about running? I currently, as I type this, have ice on my calf, which for the past 4 weeks, has decided to throw a throbbing party since I got back into running a bit more. I try to not roll my ankle, I try to lift my knees, keep in a straight line, everything - but I'm still hurtin'. I don't want to sounds like a baby though, it's just annoying, and I hope something more serious doesn't develop.

Well, it's time to enjoy a quick little break before bowling tonight. And remember, just because the snow is melting doesn't mean the ice isn't there. ;)

Thoughts from 418

2006-02-19T19:02:00.000-08:00

It's occurred to me today that I am a paradox. Now when you read that, you are probably thinking "Oh what foolish gibber is she talking about now" but really, on a more serious, yet comical note, I am a paradox in way. I've discovered that I feel deathly busy during the week with class, work, meetings, readings, exercising, and on the weekends relaxed, slowed, but lonely was can be.

Sure, if you try to reach me during the week, I just might get back to you a few days later because it's one thing after the other. Honestly, on Tuesday's and Thursday's it's manic madness, and Monday and Wednesday's it's shuffling out the door to this and that, and Friday is the calm before the storm of weirdness.

I still can find no way to define the "proper use" of a Saturday in Edinboro. See, when in Kittanning I have spend hundreds of Saturdays spending time with friends, eating breakfast with the family, hanging around the house, doing an odd job with my mother, visiting people, going to town, etc. When I wake up on Saturday in my dorm room, I'm not sure what to do. I wake up alone, eat alone, go to the gym alone, work on projects in my room alone, shower alone (well, that's normal. But having showering buddies is always fun!) All in all, I just don't know what to do on a Saturday in Edinboro. I know my concept of "what to do on Saturday" is a socially constructed issue, but it still mystifies me.

I think it's safe to declare that I will be a Potter's House resident for the 2006-2007 year. This fact excites me and is going to be great because, frankly, I'm tired of this lonely dorm room game. The roommate who used to go to the gym with me from time to time, ran with me, even slept in the same room as me, has changed, found a new niche, and has gone down a different road, which is fine. I have my road too, but it stinks when you go to bed at night alone, wake up alone, and do everything alone. I am starting to feel something strange about this.

I don't need a boyfriend, no, that is not the solution to my weird "loneliness", because that time has not presented itself. I don't need a dog, I have a fish (Besides, dogs are off-limits). I don't know what it is, but I am getting a little tired of having so much to do and being lonely. Maybe it's a phase. I don't feel it during the week, but during the weekend I do.

And the things that keep me busy - I enjoy! And when I do have free time, I "schedule" it into my life and thus it becomes a "schedule" rather than "my own choice". Example - free time at 6:00 on Monday and Wednesday = going to the gym instead. For the past 3 weeks I have been going cardio close to everyday, spending over an hour at the gym, running 2 miles on the treadmill, working the machines, even pilates. I think about that and think "What?!"

Well, I am going to visit M downstairs to receive my compensation of milk and oreos (I have been eating junk food today too). He and K went to Wal-Mart this afternoon and didn't invite me while I sat in my room bored, so bored I took a nap because I had a headache. Sunday is a weird day too, but Saturday takes the cake.

I am actually excited to go home from Spring Break and spend time at home. Maybe I will come home a bit more, like for Easter and maybe a time in between there. And next year too. I don't know. I just miss home, love, and freakin' companionship! lol. This block room sucks. Peace out, have a great week, and eat your oatmeal!

I propose a mental vacation

2006-02-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate it when you head hurt, not like a headache hurts but you feel as if the inside of your skull is throbbing and your brain is begging and knocking at the door pleading with you to find the nearest beach that is close by? Mine is.

This typography project is really kicking my donkey (Man, the ASPCA is going to be a bit concerned about me this semester). But one reassuring fact is that the rest of the class is struggling also so I'm not the only one out there getting shot down. But anyway, I feel better after taking a break from all the thinking, thus, the beginning of my brief "mental vacation".

Valentine's Day is coming around the corner this week. As I strolled through Wally World yesterday with the shelves chuck-full of red and pink packages of chocolate goodies to only add to the girth of my waistline, I realized that I won't exactly miss the gifts or attention this holiday brings.

It's quite funny, now that I think about it. My best friends, H and K, are on two different ends of the spectrum. H gobbles up all sappiness and heart-felt emotions that come with any kind of affection, she loves and actually thrives on it. It's her nature to love life, love others, love herself, and love God. Love was engraved on her heart, and then inside it's filled with colorful ribbons, hearts, stars, ponies, and anything that is bubbly and warm. K, on the other hand, detests Valentine's Day. She spits at the concept, she would even go as far as to spit on a cute cut-out of a heart and then rip it to pieces with her toes to then throw into a huge bonfire. I'm not saying that K doesn't have a soft spot, oh she does, but her Valentine's Day opinion is far on the other end of society. She even wrote about it for english class years ago and still posts it today in honor of her beliefs.

I don't mind Valentine's Day, it ranks with St. Patrick's Day and those other holidays that kind of come and go. In fact, without a significant other, it's more of a day for free chocolate and fun with no string attached. Last year I didn't get a Valentine's gift...which totally poked at the wrath of my mother. Looking back at those instances I see how unbelivably patient I was and how unbelievable smart I feel for getting out of that situation. Honestly, I don't care about stuff, I care about the thought. When it's not there, it's not there. As Greg Behrendt says "He's Just Not That Into You."

But that's another tale to tell that is much off topic. This room is boring. My side of the room seems exciting, but being here all by yourself most of the time isn't that thrilling. I probably need social interaction soon, or else Larold (the fish) and I are going to sit down and talk politics or something. Call the get help hotline soon. Seriously, do it. Are you doing it? Are you sure? Do you not want to help me? You better be calling it.

I think I'm going to get a snack. Wow, this blog is absolutly random, and probably has a million typos. I am very sorry for that, because I can't stand typos either, but I still do it. It's like hating people who don't use their turn signal and yet refusing to use it yourself. But the element of laziness needs to be included in that equation. I'm too lazy to do spell checks and to "re-read" what I have typed. If I did, I would truly see how random it is and then proceed to erase it chunk by chunk.

Anyway, catch ya later, and keep your snow shovel handy, it's still winter and the weather wants to flaunt it.

Poppin' In For A Pit Stop

2006-02-08T17:01:00.000-08:00

Greetings! It's been a coon's age since my last actual posting so I feel compelled to stop in and give a holla. It's been busy with this, and that, and then after that, a little bit more of this. But, it's all been productive, and learning lots. Maybe that huge tutition bill won't seem so big someday. Right....that's what everyone else hopes. The picture to the side here is from the last time I wa home with my chicas. I heart them, can't be much happier- me and my two best gals.

Classes - they are going well. I have two classes that I recently took tests in this past week, so that much is under my buckle. Now let's hope everything went well and I'm not going to fall out of my seat when they are returned. My level 400 class is going alright, even though God or religion is bashed about every day for class, but my strength comes from the Lord, who is strong and mighty. I really have nothing to fear. Typography is going well also but is going to require a lot of my efforts this weekend, which is alright. Saturday is wide open for that work, as far as I know. I hope it stays that way.

Last Friday I went out to Erie with some friends and ate at Applebee's. Utterly amazing. The taste of real food that is rich with taste and spices was glorious. Dessert was even included in the meal I got, which was an added bonus to the package. I was thankful that night I was in America and eating it's rich, artery-clogging delicasies.

I've been stressed about two issues lately, two of them that are pretty huge. One deals with the summer, the other deals with the fall. Sure, it's far off, but in the realm of things, it's really not. I love to make plays, organize layouts, make lists, but when I don't have any control over anything, that's when it gets tough to lay it down at the cross. To be honest, I am sick of praying over the matter and so tired of crying out and wanting God to plainly tell me where to go. I'm not saying I am going to stop asking, because I am told to"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.--Psalm 55:22". I am going to keep on praying about it, and lay it down at His feet. It's too muh of a burden on me, and I hope I get some clear cut answers or direction soon.

Oh, just a side note, Steelers rock. Heck yes. I celebrated the tremendous celebration of the black and gold victory at the Potter's House. We even hauled in a platform that was used at the Pig Roast in September into the house to create stadium seating, which looked great, but was a bear to haul in when it's snowing like nobody's crazy business outside. We have roughly a foot of snow in the boro, which to you might seem like a lot of just a dusting, depending on where you are from. The temperatures are dropping, that's the worst part. I don't mind the snow, I mind losing fingers, I kinda need them. ;)

I just came back from the bathroom. (Sure, that was probably more information that you needed to know, but everyone goes!) I was talking with a girl from my floor at the sinks and as I left I thought to myself how nice it is to know genuinly nice people. Honestly, there should be more of them around! Those who are socially warm and friendly, caring, loving, what's not to love there?

I started a new workout regiment my friend M that has transformed us into running chicas. It's great to have a friend to work out with because it's more motivation and funner when you feel like a moron in the gym while there are Arnold's all around you lifting all the free weights available in the whole tri-county area. We usually run about 2 miles and then some other minor things. It rocks, I never knew I could be doing 2 miles consistantly. And the feeling after I am cooled down is great, I become so relaxed I could nap, but it's not physically possible. Besides, summer is going to be here just like that, I need to spice up those thighs of mine.

Ministry on campus is great as usual. Lots of great things going on and keeping me busy but hopefully reaching others and such. Family is doing well, usual events going on at home like places burning down and dumb criminals doing the usual. Gotta love Kittanning.

Well, it's time for me to end this sweet embrace of blogging and time to maybe change Larold's water. (The beta fish who keeps me company in this lonely room, when I'm actually there. I often feel bad for him and his lack of companionship but I am later reminded of 2 strong key factors 1) any other beta he would kill or either mate with 2) his memory has a time span of probably 3-5 seconds.) Off I go, maybe even squeezing in some time for some pilates! I will try to catch up on blog someday, honestly, my deepest apologies for "disappearing". Have a great one everybody!

It's A Beautiful Thing!

2006-02-06T16:49:00.000-08:00

One for the paw!

2006-02-05T09:50:00.000-08:00

#1 K9 Steeler Fan!

Learning Lessons from Asphalt

2006-02-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

Greetings! It's been a coon's age since I last stopped in and made an appearence. Whoops. That's what happened when you start havig your "donkey" kicked by some very time consuming classes. (And the fun stuff, of course).

(And in the picture to the right, I spy a family. :) )

I just got back from my Public Speaking class, probably my favorite of all of my 5 this semester. Apparently I use "umm" a lot, but once I thought about it, "umm" is a fun word to use, like "gabba goo" or something that would fall under the baby catagory. It's amazing how in college you can feel like you're growing up into some young adult and then minutes later receed back to childhood in an instant.

Oh, by the way, oatmeal is great. Sure, when I first started eating it the stuff looked repulsive and distasteful, but with time, I have grown to like the stuff and now eat it for a heart-healthy little "brunch" before my 12:30 class.

Now, getting to the title of this blog, I did notice something that stuck me on my way to class this week. As I was casually walking along, I heard the sudden crash of metal and body on the asphalt over yonder in the street. It was another college student who was on one of those "trick bikes". I'm not a huge fan for the "trick bike" because it looks belittling and frankly, if you want to pick up chicks, get something with an engine on it. But hey, it looks challenging, which leads me to the main point. The kiddo was trying to do a trick off of a curb and pretty much lamb-basted himself on the ground. But he got up off the dirty roadway, pick himself up along with the bike, and proceeded to set up for it again, tried the trick again, and did a little better.

How many of us do that? There is a quote in the new Batman movie that askes "Mr. Bruce, why do we fall? So we can pick ourselves up". Really, that kiddo may stike out a million times but when he does succeed it will feel like he got it the first time. And pessimistic people say this generation has no "motivation". It's all where you look, people, it's all where you look. Sure you'll find your slackers, your bums, your cruel, but at the same time you can't go without finding those who have heart, dedication, motivation, and smiles on their faces when they get out of bed. (Well, unless it's too early in the morning and they were out bowling last night and didn't get to bed till 1:00AM :0)

On another happy note, I have a job again! My hours at the OSD (Office of Students with Disabilites) were taken by someone else when I failed to remember to turn in a re-hire form. But with God's grace I got another time slot, which is better than the one before, adds one more hours, and is perfect. Hmm...God is good.

Well, I guess I should try working on something productive. Shocking, I know. I think my plan is to do a week's worth of homework on Saturday, thus designating Saturday as "Super Student Saturday". Friday, on the other hand, is "Do a Happy Dance-the week is over Friday". Fantacular.

Keep cool peeps. I'll catch ya later.

I'll take this picture...nine times!

2006-01-21T16:58:00.000-08:00

This is a photo from break that was taken at my house. Yes, that is our Christmas tree. If you're one of those tradition, have-your-heart-set-on real living tree that dies each year in your living room, then this concept will send you spinning and keeled over. It's a tin tree, popular decades ago in my father's era (Sounds pretty funny, my father grew up decades ago. Decades sounds like prehistoric term. Anyway...) The tree is from my father's era, he actually has a picture infront of his own tin tree growing up. (Even though he hated it as a child because who wants a shiny tree as a kid when everyone else gets the real thing?) But now we love it, at least I do. Honestly, it's different, fun, colorful (come complete with color wheel that spins that casts colors on the tree since you can't put Christmas lights on the thing or else you're going to have a problem). It rotates around in a circle and even plays music if you like (but rather not because it can become a but irritating hearing the same jingle over and over again at some rapid rate). The spinning feature is especially nice when setting it up because when it comes to the hanging of ornaments, all you do is stand and place, stand and place, and stand and place as the tree rotates for you. In this country, that idea should be selling like gold. Anyway, that is the story of our Christmas tree. All my friends were fascinated with the contraption, not everyone has chrome displayed in tree-form in their livingroom. If you wanted to see it, you still could have until today when mother finally broke down and took the holiday decor down. I don't blame her for holding out, I did the same thing. This picture was taken at an impromptu movie night at my house to watch Meet the Fockers and listen to country music. Every party at my house has country music incorporated somehow, a recurring theme....good theme. :)

"No Time For Love Dr. Jones!"

2006-01-19T11:47:00.000-08:00

First off, I must apologize for the murdering of the word nuclear. I was busy (still am) and blogger was being stubborn about spell checker and I was being lazy for not putting it into Microsoft Word. Double oops. (Oh, like the picture? This was taken over break, it's me eating a pine tree to symbolize the crumbling of the PSP - the Pine Street Posse. If you're lost, that's probably a good thing because you really don't want to know, lol. So just sit back and enjoy the picture-age of my curly hair and the tasty tree.)

But anyway, it looks like this semester is going to kick my donkey. I am blessed to have two 100 level classes and cursed to have two 300 level courses and one 400 level course. The professor for the 400 level course is Dr. Jean Jones (hence the title) (if you know anything about great movies *cough*Temple of Doom Indiana Jones* cough* that line might ring a bell to you). Jean Jones is a woman who has a lot of opinions taken of her, some scary, some great, and well, I don't know what to make of mine yet. She seems dynamic, wanting the best of you, teaching a Comm course that is a 400 level the way it was mean to be taught, opening minds, and challenging her students. Needless to say, I'm the whipping donkey. Naeeee all the way. Roughly put, we will read 4 books for the semester, quizzes everyday, class discussions, and in-depth ponderin'. Hoo roo. Someone take me behind the stable and put me down, this ride seems like a long one, much better fit for a camel instead of a simple donkey like me that will receive a ghetto stomping by this class.

My next class that is giving me the royal treatment of animal abuse is Principles of typography AKA work it, work it, work it. It's not a dance class, it's an art class studying type and turning art kids into designers. I am half afraid and half excited for this class. The work load is measurably large from what I've heard. The first day of class was Wednesday (MW class) and there are three areas that are due for Monday. Thank you God for the weekends, thou gift to me is greatly appreciated.

Both together seem a little daunting, in fact, had me spazzing out last night. Between spending $200.00 on books and spending every waking minute reading and doing projects, I want to throw up. But I will not be defeated - I will give it my all - I will become a super student....or some revised version of a bookworm/better art kid.

So...if you don't see me for awhile, you know what. I'm getting whipped. Send the human society, and a care package of an additional brain, complete with jar!

Peace out peeps - catch ya around.

"Welcome to Advanced Nucular Physics"

2006-01-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

I've made the triumphant return to the frozen tundra, also know as Edinboro, and have sucessfully completed one college level class for today. Unfortunatly, it was Advanced Nucular Physics.

I had time to get to my class, a brisk walk since I was a little behind but then again, I have timed out all the distances from building to building so I wasn't too concerned. Before I left the room, I made sure to check the appropriate room number to make sure I would be heading off to the right room. Unfortunatly, I checked last year's schedule and showed up in the wrong room. So from there I left and checked in at the department office in order to find out where I would have my public speaking class.

I did find my public speaking class - but it was in disguise. As I walked in and took an open seat, my eyes caught some of the words from the front board that said "Advanced Nucular Physics - T TH 9:30-10:45 Course 736". Alerted by the awkard message, I whispered to the person next to me "this is public speaking, right?" and they assured me that the writing on the board was only a ruse, but a ruse that many fell for and many left the room to only be convinced to return by the persuassive professor. It was mostly 30 or more minutes of rusing to late-comers.

The class will be interesting and fun, that is my prediction. The professor has been at Edinboro for 30 some odd years teaching and has the place pretty well mapped out and has plenty of teaching expereience.

It was good to see all the old pals from the hosue last night. I made a quick pit stop over to the PH before heading back to the room for bed to catch up and see those lovely faces! Oh, how I love the house, haha.

I know people have New Year's Resolutions and such, like weight loss and this and that. I don't really play that game but rather just make decisions about what I would like to see in my life. One of those is a less obsessive-complusive Lindsay, as far as anal-retentive behvaior when it comes to cleaning my room once a week and doing everything with such a tight and orderly schedule. Being at home over break alliviated me of all of that, and it felt good. That doesn't mean I'm throwing away organization - it means I am going to simply change the manner in which I do it. Another is to make this semester count for God, to give back and to learn. There are challenges that are on the horizion for me, but with every challenge, oppritunity is presented. I look at it this way: if I am trying to make a decision I am unsure about, I just ask the question "Is this something I will regret years from not because I chickened out?" Seems to make sense.

As for now, I think it's a snack and then off to class again. Catch ya'll later.

No Need For A Search Team

2006-01-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

No worries, mates, I am alive! Send back the voluenteers, leash up the hounds, and put the first-aid kit back in your bathroom - the Queen has returned.

Now that that pathetic return statement has been issues, I might as well update myself and explain what on earth I could be doing around in Armstrong County that has consumed a lot of my time.

First, we'll start with 3 letters - S N S. Or as many ornory, eldery people know, Shop N' Save, as they barely make their cursive lettering out on their checks; or to the people employed there, Shop N' Slave. Anyway, I've been a bit busy working here and there through the week, being entertained and detained by all the occurances of the grocery store chain. But it's good to catch up with old chronies and assumes the meanial tasks of old - like cleaning registers and sorting the Haden House orders.

Next we have the ever-popular social life. I've seen so many of my friends over break and I have loved every minute of it. Well, I must take that back and say there were times I didn't love every minute of it, but when you have some friends from Kittanning who are members of the "PSP" (Pine Street Posse) (Yeah, I know, you're rolling your eyes and wondering how they could ever compare to the BHP, the Blanket Hill Posse, which I am a proud member of), you can't help but be irratted by the maturity levels present...or should I saw, not present and out to lunch, dinner, and a night snack. But anyway, getting together to bowl, eat at Red Lobster (classy bunch we are....well, we were for one night- and even that is questionable), or just hang out at houses, it's a blast. I even cleaned my friend K's room - which was a feat in itself.

I've also had some time to spend at home and around the house with the family and such. The holiday was great and the New Years was good also, getting together with old friends to watch that giant ball drop each year. It's been good to be at home, and will be a bit weird returning to my jail cell, I mean, dorm room, but in the end, it's all good. I have no urgent rush to return to school and work my rear off again and be busier than a farmer with a whole herd of milking cows, but it will be a bittersweet transition - saying goodbye to great cereal everymorning and my own bathroom but at the same time saying hello to old friends and getting myself back into the ministry for another semester of blessings.

I've also spent some time reading, which is unusual for me sometimes because I am not the most avent reader. Sure, I love to read label, I consider that a hobby in a sort. In the store before I buy something, in the shower waiting for my face cleanser to finally do it's job and destroying acne, and sitting at the kitchen table, I read it up and down with content facts, advertising, and even the design of the package. But give me a novel, and I'll give you a 3 month waiting list to finish the book, or more. But this one book captivated me, which proves that I can read with passion- I just have to find the book with the passion. I read "He's just not that into you", which I recommend to anyone who is single or even dating. I've learned a lot, and it's a hilarious book. Go out and get it. lol.

But anyway, work is calling my name. I will triumphantly return to the boro Monday. (Do I sound cocky and important in this blog? If I do, please don't take me seriously. For goodness sakes, I work at a grocery store and enjoy pumping the wells and playing with dogs. By no means and I some glory hound looking to make myself hot property.) As for now, have a good one and keep your tongue off the ice.

Living the Dream

2005-12-22T07:27:00.000-08:00

This post doesn't have to do with the extreme amount of sleep I recieved last night- which in total tally up to 10 when I think about it, but it does fit in well. My goal was to sleep in but not excessivly so I can still go to bed around 11:00 tonight in order to properly roll out of bed for work at 7:30AM Friday morning without a) smacking my thigh against the corner of the video cabinet leaving a bruise the size of Alaska and b) accidently pouring orange juice in my cereal bowl after milk was poured in. I have an aunt that can eat cereal with just plain orange juice, which seems alright, but the combo between the cow and the fruit wasn't that pleasant, even though I still ate half of it because guilt overwhelmed me if I would throw out the whole bowl.

Yesterday's presentations went well at the other high school. It strongly looks like this high school will probably absorb most of Elderton's students when the building closes down, which I predict in less than ten years from now. Numbers are starkingly low and someone in the end has got to give, but I'm not sure how it will all come about. I'm thankful to be graduated and out of Elderton when I did,the great teachers were still present, and the kids seem to be getting worse, but that doesn't bother me, especially when I was a 'super senior'.

As I was driviny back from the other high school, some of the questions I was asked by teachers came across my mind. One of those questions dealt with my future plans in the next 5 years. It was a "Where do you see yourself in five years?" but rather "Where do you want to go with you major?" Of course, there are lots of options and it's hard to pinpoint just one area where I want to go because I left the Lord decide where I am going to go- not me. It's hard not to give a solid answer like "I want to work at Apple" or "I want to work with my Uncle Joe Smoe". That is still a long ways off, and I hope they know I think about it on a day to day basis probably. I say 'proabably' because I have the tendancy to think about a lot in one day, haha.

Then I thought about the day when we moved my brother off to college. Sure, the unloading and loading of all this crap from the truck to the door, then the stairs, and then the room. *sigh* Sounds like my move-in days too! But I distinctly remember something that hasn't come to mind in years. I recall looking at the posters in the dorm halls calling out students to be a part of this or that, looking at the CA (community assistant) and envying his awesome job, and telling myself that I wanted an awesome college life. I was only a little sophomore in high school but I saw this next era and was filled with excitement on what is down the road. Sure, there are several struggles along the way, but this next segement of life seemed like a golden key, a dream I wanted to come true.

Then it dawned on me - I am living the dream, but haven't really noticed it until I came back home. My last semester was terrific - it was busy- but so rich and terrific. I had one of the best birthdays of my life, met some new friends that are amazing, worked as a Highland Ambassador, contiuned with my bowling team, have the sweetest job on campus of sitting at a table and being paid to do homework, being a part of the Creative Team for the Gathering, and learning how to lead a bible study, along with spiritual growth and new oppritunities being presented before me- what more could a dreamer ask for? I must be honest, and this is not bashing, but when I was dating the Ex I was limited in a way, I traveled the two hours home every weekend my first semester and only started to actually stay on the weekends my second semester. When we broke up, I became free bird. Everything seemed to fall into place, I was going to follow the dream.

But now it's time to follow the holiday, which consists of some hardcore gift wrapping that needs done along with pilates, a shower, and errands. *sigh*. I thought this was called Vacation! lol.

Peace out peeps, and Merry Christmas to all!

A Journey Back In Time

2005-12-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

Monday I returned to my alma mater - my old high school - to do presentations as a Highland Ambassador. The presentations were focused on college transistions in three senior english classes through the day. Of course, this also left me time to catch up with old teachers and take a few strolls around the place to see what has changed, and what hasn't.

True to nature, I arrive to the school barely on time- classic. Since the redneck parents were going down the side street that I was trying to climb up on and not giving me a chance to gun it, I had to made a quick turn into the senior parking lot rather than parking farther up on the hill in the faculty parking lot, which is essentially closer to the building. That's what you get for being late, and not going down the next side street that the buses take, duh!

No worries for me, I arrived with plenty of time and visited the guidance office. The guidance counselor, S, and I have kept in contact since my departure to college. In fact, she attended EUP for a year, I believe, and was also the first one that introduced me to Edinboro and what they had to offer me, a confused senior distraught from the decisions she didn't know how to answer. S is a great counselor, and I had the oppritunity to spend most of the day with her, getting to know her more in the realm of her life rather than the 8 - 3 job she has.

The presentations went well. The first class, an AP class, was most influential in my opinion. They were very receptive and friendly, interested in what I was speaking about. I found some of the other students in the later two classes to stare around the room, some never even making eye contact with me and instead glued their eyesockets to the desk infront of them, some watched me intently. Interesting how various people listen, or don't listen. Oh well, hehe.

Going around the school was like a flash back in time. It felt as if no time was lost, nothing had majorly changed for me to feel a sense of disconnection with the school. As I took a walk around in my teacher-like clicky heels I discovered that the smells were the same, the paint was still peeling, and some of the teachers looked exactly the same as if the tap water contains some of the fountian of youth, but knowing what the tap what is like, I know that must not be it. I enjoyed my time in high school as a teen; I savored the moments because I was aware that they were numbered. I do the same with college, but I wish college would last a little longer, I enjoyed som much this past semester.

Of course, I answered the question "what are you doing here" about 50 bazzilion times. Thankfully I had my Highland Ambassador shirt on to keep people on their toes that I wasn't some foregin intruder who was stalking them. (I did have to sign in when I entered the building and recieved a visitors badge, but "forgot" to put it on ;) ) It was great to talk to the teachers, get a quick update, say my hello's and warm wishes, the whole shebang. Teachers and I have a pretty close relationship, closer than the average student who takes the tests and leaves. I enjoy knowing a little about their lives, their family, hobbies, quarks, et cetera. No, I really am not a stalker, but I loved talking to the adults in high school because sometimes they were great mentors, friends persay, and probably one of the reasons I recieved the faculty scholarship when I graduated. Shocked, of course, when I awarded, but not dumbfounded to why they would choose me - they knew me when I got to know them. As S told me herself at the visit "We liked to choose good people for the award and send a message that it's not all about grades." Wow. I remained speechless, I didn't know what to say.

I can't imagine being a teacher, it kind of seems like a grind. You know, the whole "pour yourself out to students with all your intellect and wisdom and hope everything goes well". It's a shame that more students don't come back and thank their teachers because it's nice to see that their efforts weren't in vain, but then again, if you're a teacher, getting thanks doesn't matter to you. In fact, it doesn't matter what your profession is - thanks should not be a reason. It's the passion, the "oomph", the love, dedication - there isn't even a word to describe it. It's God given, and you use it to His glory.

Of course I had to make a pit stop outside at the end of the day and see my old busdriver, A. What a loser, haha. Actually, that's an inside joke between us. (We give each other the loser sign on our foreheads when we would pass eachother on the road when I drove to school my senior year). It's good to catch up, give hugs, and see familiar faces that bring back so many treasured memories. I'm thankful for my homelife, my high school, my friends, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

This week will be busy with work (back at ol' SNS) and another school presentation tomorrow. (I really can't wait to sleep in, I honestly don't know how I did it in high school.) Between the holiday, or is it Christmas....anyway, between the shopping, work, and catching up with friends, I'll be busy, but enjoying every minute of it. I make sure to post pictures of the excitement. It's good to be home in several ways, even though the Boro holds some of my heart as well.

It's over and out for now, but if I don't stop in before the big 25, here's a warm Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Pennsylvania!

Adventures of the Academic Aid

2005-12-12T17:08:00.000-08:00

Today's dynamic episode starts out with a groggy little Lindsay K. found burrowed in blankets and cuddled passionatly with crocheted blankets as the morning sun rises. (As in morning, I mean 10:00.) Soon she powers up and prepares for a day of actions and adventure by fueling up with a 6 inch turkey sub on wheat with provalone cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and a touch of mayo. Now with that enegery running through her veins, she super-powers her teeth squeaky clean and heads off to the OSD office to become Academic Aid Girl.

But today's episode is the first in it's series, a short-lived series that only lasts 3 days because she was called on by headquarters to help in the effort of reading tests, delivering test, and being a maidservant for finals week- the busyest week at the headquarters. When our hero, Lindsay K., enters the building and heads towards the office, it appears that we might be waiting a while before we see any dynamic action because other super heros are waiting their turn to become productive.

But not for Lindsay K.! Almost immediatly she is ordered off to deliever tests to several buildings on campus to different academic departments. As she visited each department office, she noticed that each one welcomed with her with some type of reserve because they knew that her presence brought a heavier work load, but all in a days work!

Soon after that Lindsay K. was quickly assigned to be a scribe for a student. Oh course, Lindsay K. decided to accept the offer and take on the challenge! Little did she know that the final of the student she was scribing for required four different essays. Lindsay K.'s super power hand was ready to fall off after two straight hours of essay, but eventually the last pargraph was finished and it was time to recharge her battery. With the help of a few wheat crackers on a plate and water, she was ready to go at it again in no time.

But to Lindsay K's surprise, no more work was to be done! The day was ending early, but not early enough for her to head out to her super-charged kickboxing class that starts at 3:30. Sure, sadness filled the little hero's heart but maybe tomorrow our hero might request to leave a little bit earlier in order to get her powers invigorated and ready to fight the world!

But till then, our hero will be found fitting in some Pilates before the winter break, preparing for a presentation Friday and Monday for back home, studying for the two finals coming up, and packing for the fantastic winter break filled with wonderful Christmas tunes and treats.

Tune in next time to see where she will go next! Until then, keep your stick on the ice!

2005-12-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

Barron - Forness Library at Edinboro University

Some Things

2005-12-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

10 Years Ago...

*I would have been nine years old, which means I would have been busy with my little people creation of "Reedy Township" and building homes and schools out of cardboard boxes. Ahh yes, those were the days.

5 Years ago I was...

*Hmm, probably in some type of high school class picking my eyes out as everyone around me as wearing Jencos (sp???) and the baggy pants fad was on the move. Thank goodness I don't have to look back and see what I looked like, then it would be quite the nightmare!

1 Year ago I was...

*I was probably finishing up finals and ready to rush home and spend time with my boyfriend. But this year, I'm excited to go home, spend time with family and friends, work, and take a break from it all. Honestly, a lot can happen in a year. Last year the Boro was just that dreaded placed of expensive education, this year it's a haven, a great place of learning, and a place of growth and friendship. I think I may have become a little attached to this frozen tundra :0!

Today I...

*Woke up "early" (if early to you is 10:00) in order to shuffle my way over to Compton to have my binder and final grade handed back for my psychology of commmunications class but was too late - he had left the office. Poopers! So it looks like I'll have to pick it up next week- no sweat. Now I'm sitting here doing this and dreading the thought of going out in that blustering mess of snow and wind creating mini tornados of snow particles that whap you in the face. Ahh, yes, Edinboro.

5 Snacks I enjoy...

* Cereal - I love snacking on a good cereal, as long as it's healthy!
* Bread - If they're an open package of buns, or fresh bread, I'm there!
* Fruits and Vegetables - Bananas, Apples, Carrots, Celery and I think that's it! lol (Canned peaches?)
* Pretzels and animal crackers - good studying snack, except for the part that during the studying, I eat the whole container, so it's more like a studying meal. Curse my enormous stomach that can hold so much food!
* Applesauce - quick, tasty, and nutritous!

5 Places I would run away to...

* The beach! Heck yes!
* First off, what is the context of "running away"? Am I being hunted down, or escaping my home for a weekend when I hear the footsteps of relatives near?
* If I need to escape my home because it's infiltrated with nuts, then down the road to Jack's house it is! Bubba and I always love spending quality time together.
* If I'm in the boro, the PH is the destination for any kind of fleeting
* If I'm being hunted down, I think I could just disappear to Elk County - heck, people have enough trouble trying to find deer let alone people there. I'll just have to make sure I don't come out of Elk County looking like swiss cheese.

5 Things I would never wear

* A wrestling singlet (Oh, K and T, I hope you happen to read that)
* A tube top - honestly - what is securing that except for elastic? I definitely don't have the "shelf" proprotions to do so.
* Stretch pants - I have worn them, but they look so bad on me anymore! Boo to them, an boo to my ghetto booty for saying boo to them. I practically have no jean options anymore!
* An "Uncle Eddie" hat

5 Favorite TV shows

* The OC!
* Seinfeld - I'v seen every episode, baby!
* The Late Show with David Letterman - the late show bear!
* American Idol - I know, I know, but mom and I ruthlessly rip those people apart!
* Gilmore Girls - I haven't seen it in so long, but I really enjoy it when I do

5 Bad habits...

* Not getting up early enough to make it to class ahead of time - I'm one of those people in the winter who will come to a 9:00 class right at 9:00
* Over organization - sometimes I believe I'm boarderline OCD. Sometimes I have to allow myself to be a mess in order to prove that I can be a disaster.
* Worrying - I've become much better at this though, especially without a boyfriend in the picture
* Being concerned with my weight too much - Ok, so I'd really like to drop 5 - 10 lbs and fit into my size 6 pants comfortably again, but running season is far away, besides, kickboxing and pilates are awesome.
* Having a steadfast prayer life - there are so many things in my life right now I should be bathing in prayer- why aren't it? hmm.

5 Biggest joys

* Seeing my cousins now go to church
* Making new friends and having that community :) (like hanging at the PH) (or spending time with the home dawgs)
* Learning about God
* Spending time with my family (and pets, they are family too)
* Music- a love a good song - it can bring back so many memories with such a great tune

5 Fictional characters I would date...

* The guy from Alias (He was in the movie "Never Been Kissed") (Michael something?)
* Ryan from the OC!
* A snowman (That one is for H and K)
* Larold Fishard Beta ;)
* Hey, if he has a castle, I'm in!

5 People who I tag to do this...

* Sharon
* Moogie
* Melanie
* My school friends (mostly Krista since she likes to blog)
* And whoever is reading this! :0!

2005-12-07T15:42:00.000-08:00

Platter - o - cookies :)

2005-12-07T15:41:00.000-08:00

Pasta and ta meat - a - balls! I love to take pictures of meals I've prepared (but many hands helped with this effort) so I have proof I made something! Bon appette!

Secrets Behind The Service

2005-12-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

Last night was "Dinner and A Movie" night at the Gathering. To keep everyone on the same page, The Gathering is young adult get-together where we have a speaker (staff member A.K. employed by McLane church, same church I attend on Sunday's) and the Gathering Band performs each week and leads the group in awesome worship songs. I became part of the Creative Team this year, a team that organized unique and creative ideas for the event each week, to plan ahead and organize direction for this great Tuesday night happening.

Last week, A.K presented the idea of having a "end of the year" dinner for the Gathering. So we "cooked up" (no pun intended) a plan to serve a full pasta meal- salad, pasta, meatballs, bread, and the ever-popular dessert of choice- cookies. It was in no time we formulated a time schedule and in the blink of an eye it was Tuesday and I was on my way to Giant Eagle with A.K. to purchase the goods.

I love how funny it can be to walk in a grocery store and have no idea where thigs are at, but take educated guesses thanks to my previous expereience in a grocery store back home. At times I felt like I was the adopted daughter of A.K. as I followed him around and rattled off the list that was written down on my internal parchment AKA brain. "Go here" and "Don't forget" and so on. When we went to check out, there was no bagger present so I just started bagging. Ah, the memories swell back to me. As we were leaving, A.K told me "I was watching you and you really seemed like you were good at that, but then it dawned on me that you worked in a grocery store." He then asked me what I did at SNS and I responded with "A little bit of everything". Really, from stocking shelves to bagging groceries, to packaging grapes and mopping floors, or even picking up the office worker's food a few stores down in the plaza- my title might be "cashier" but my experience is all around the store. Anyway, back to the story!

Soon it was time to start setting up the cooking process. McLane Church isn't your typical mom and pop church with a little kitchen stored away in the back of the basement where all these amazing pies are produced. Sure, McLane probably does make terrific pies if they wanted, but between feeding a congregation of a thousand between Saturday night and Sunday morning services, they get down with the whole "mass production of food" bit.

Of course, we had some time to kill in between the water boiling and starting practically an hour early- but thanks to the food warmers, nothing went cold. (Except for when it sat out too long, of course). We were very blessed to have the head chef of the church, E, to come help us in our efforts and locate all the things in this makeshift kitchen of wonder. Mass appliances, makeshift tables, it's all a fun little mystery and system. The church is still being renevated because it was converted into a church after being an old Ames building, so everything isn't hardwood floors and random decorative lighting (although the church does a fantastic job right now with what they do have). But the kitchen fits the needs to feed and it helped us put on a meal for roughly 100 people. E was amazing, she's an awesome lady who is local and was more than willing to help us out. But along with her services came tricks of the trade that I love.

I'm always willing to learn more about cooking now n' days. Maybe it's a "coming of age" thing when pop-tarts aren't considered meals anymore and if you're going to fix a meal, let's make it a goody with all the fixins'. I intently followed E around the kitchen from one end to the other, fetching and pouring, stirring and salting. It would have been impossible without the help of her and the many other great people who helped us cook the meal. Here's a few tricks I learned from her in the kitchen that stuck with me:

1) If you can't get all the spagetti sauce out of the jar (like a giant container of Ragu), take it and spin it around in circles with your arm, causes the sauce to collect on the top of the container. (But just make sure the lid is on!)

2) Big pot that needs more leverage than just your two hands? Take a thick sock and cut of the toe portion and slide it on your forearm to serve as a hot pad so you can carry pans with your forearms more effectivly.

3) Add about a handful of sugar to a pot of water to speed up the boiling process.

4) If you rinse your spagetti with water after you've drained it, the sauce won't stick to it.

5) Have E and helpers and the job will run terrificly! Praise be to God! :)

At the end of the night, we did have plenty leftovers, which, it's always better to have more of than to have too little, or in the words of E "There is no such thing a too much food." Needless to say, a lot of people that attended the Gathering last night are now having pasta for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

On another note, finals week is approching with rapid fire so don't expect me to stop in a blog anytime soon, unless I have some free time on the weekend to stop in and confirm exisitence for a little while. I'll be heading home Thurs, Presentation at WS High School Friday, Presentation at E High School Monday, and then back to Shop N' Save Tuesday! Wow, where has the semester gone?

Peace out peeps - catch ya later, have a blessed day!

Oh- PS- there is roughly 2 feet of snow outside and more on the way :) (Pictures will be posted when the front leaves)

The Most Beautiful Thing

2005-12-01T22:10:00.000-08:00

After sitting down at the Potter's house and getting sucked into the great Disney film Aladdin, I decided to head home at 1AM. Such a schedule makes me love the "No Friday classes" schedule. I'll miss that- but tonight- it was greatly worth it.

As I stepped out the door, I was struck with awe of the sight before my eyes. It was a true winter wonderland. The snow flakes lazily dropped from the sky illuminated by the orange lighting from campus. I walked back in the 3-4 inches of fluffy precipiation smiling and humming Christmas tunes. But then the sight became even better.

I wasn't the only one enjoying this blessing. As I turned the corner leading to my building, in the turn around entrance for vehicles, there were ten or more students out, scampering around like children, scooping up handfuls of the freshly-layed snow and throwing snowballs, laughing and giggling. This celebration of snow is something I wanted to take a picture with in my mind and never forget. It was as if they were children again, forgetting the time of morning, and embracing the snow that falls so frequently in this region.

After a blessed night of friendship, learning, and nature, I cannot help but to turn back to the Creator of it all and give him a big thank you.

Thank you, God. It was amazing. You are amazing. Thank you, so very, very, much.

More Happy Birthday's!

2005-11-29T08:14:00.000-08:00

Because of yesterday's birthday celebration on the blog for H, it's silly of me to forget about the lovely B, who's birthday was November19th. She, too, is the big 2-0! Happy Birthday wishes go out to B also! So many birthdays, so little time to go to Party Outlet and hire a singing clown to show up at their door. (But knowing B, she would probably pull out a rifle at the sight of a clown at her doorstep! ;)

Happy Birthday!

2005-11-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

H and I at the Homecoming Dance at Thiel, the college she attends majoring in Education. We've been best buddies since the 7th grade- and probably will be the rest of our lives. I't s a great blessing to have her in my life. Here's wishing her a fabulous birthday!

Are You Sure It's November?

2005-11-28T08:40:00.000-08:00

Over Thanksgiving Break Edinboro was dumped around 2 feet of snow for the holiday. Now it's currently 58 degrees out and the snow is melting and I'm only wearing a sweatshirt to class. Are you sure it's November? Whatever it is outside, and I quote America's favorite artey-clogging complany, "I'm lovin' it".

Break was good, I loved slowing down and letting the time just slide by. I was sick for a great portion of the time but I prefer to be ill at my cozy home with blankets and couches rather than my cement cubical. I'm doing much better now, I've regained my voice and sleeping much better.

Studytables are open for next semester. I am currently a studytable monitor right now, which consists of sitting at a table, signing people in and out, and doing whatever homework I have to finish. There is one slot I am taking but there is a morning slot from 8:00-9:15. Do I subject myself to morning misery or suck it up, go, and get the extra twelve bucks a week? Hmmm....you let me know, I need some advice, pro's and con's, someone to make the decison for me, hehe, not really, but your consultation would be greatly aprriciated.

Over break I became aware that I have been a victim of idenity thief. Terrific. Some smuck out there wanted to complete purchases of 400 some dollars and 100 bucks and was unable to. Ha! So my new card is on the way and I'm trying to be more careful with my indenity. Go fig. You never think about it until it happens to you.

The VCR finally works. Roomie brought back her "changer" also know in other areas as a "clicker", "swticher", and "remote". I'm tempted to watch a movie on VHS just to celebrate it.

Today is one of my best friend's birthday- H! I heart her and hope she has a fabulous birthday!

I'll drop by in later this week, if I can. Have a good one, and enjoy this weather while it lasts!

Happy Big Bird Day?!

2005-11-22T19:05:00.000-08:00

I love a good laugh :)

Come Again?

2005-11-21T14:08:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's been a coon's age since the last time a posted anything. I've been ooper busy with projects, reading, ministry, and the usual hanging out and such. IN addition to the fantabulous busyness I contracted a sore throat Friday and in result lost my voice Saturday afternoon. Thankfully, then the voice was taken. the sore throat decided to pack up and move it's needly disease elsewhere. Hoo ray. I'll be home for the holiday tomorrow. It's about time for a Thanksgiving break. I wish I had breaks in Edinboro so I could just dum around and say I was duming around and not wasting time the presence of homework, therefore classified as multi-tasking or procrastinating. Team RamRod is done for the season, I cam out with an average above 100, claps all around, wahoo, another record for SGA to store away and misplace, haha. It's time for dinner so I must get going. Half the challenge is trying to get K out of bed since we eat at a time when he claims he isn't hungry. We'll kindly ignore his request and drag him to the cafe. I'll post when arrive back in hickville. Toodles!

Busy Bee

2005-11-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

Buzz, buzz, I'm the busy bee! It's been a bit crazy trying to find time to do everything in the matter of four days. I'm going back home to ol' Kittanning this weekend so I'm rushing around trying to make lists of things to take home, bring back, and tasks to accomplish while I'm home. Since I won't reach the homestead until 6:00 Friday night and will leave Sunday, I will just spend time with family and leave other visiting for Thanksgiving break.

I can't wait to see the baby, she's probably gotten so big! The Potter's House hosted an awesome costume party last weekend. (You can find pics of that and more on my webshots link on the side bar.) Class is good, I think I am actually enjoying most of them now. I look back at two of my classes from last semester and discovered I really liked them and learned a lot but didn't realize I enjoyed them at the time. This year I am trying to change that and evaluate which ones spark my interest. To my surprise, three of my five classes have taught me all sorts of information, which is a good thing. Let's hope that luck continues when I schedule tomorrow at 6:00PM.

I've been meaning to rip apart the blog and give it a new look but two things have come in the way, one being my lack of time, and since there is a lack of time, there is lack of effort and I rish things. Secondly, I wish I knew more about how to set it up. I would love to know how to have a rockin' blog with all sorts of cool features. Do they make an HTML for dummies, or "Set up your blog so it's rockin' cool" book? (I'd lean more towards the first title than the second, haha)

Well, I got distracted and have wasted 20 mintues on the computer when I should be doing laundry becuase my RamRod shirt needs washed. Get smells so bad from the bowling lanes that it's a weekly must. Anyway, catch ya later!

Ramblings from my lunch break

2005-11-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

After finishing the project-pain-in-the-rear of the week, I'm left relaxed and reenergized, especially because of the added sleep I received last night. I started dozing off at my desk and decided to crawl into bed to attempt a quick nap and get back up at 7:10 to go to the gym and run. But when the alarm went off, I gave the gym a second thought, and laid my head back down to wait for 8:45. I had the weirdest dream. But I'll get to that in a second.

I took a nice stroll on campus taking fall pictures of buildings and scenery. The temperature is 63, which is quite glorious for this time of year. I am soaking up this concept with much gladness because I know the fate this region has in another month- frozen tundra.

Lunch was good. My schedule forces my lunch to be early so I usually eat alone in my room. Today's menu consisted of a small chicken Caesar salad, string cheese, and a bagel. I love bagels. They're Thomas' Bagels. I love bread, so the scent of blueberry bread in my room has been driving me nutty. I usually get tomatoes on my salad, even though I don't care for them that much. It's one of those situations where you keep trying it with hopes that this time you might like it but then are reminded of the taste and disapproval your tongue gives you. Tomatoes are good for you, right? So I'll take it like a man, or a health freak, and eat the dog gone sucker and then wash it down with a drink. Thank goodness the sweetness of the bagel makes up for it.

Two of my classes have group projects in them. Joy. The first group is for my Studio Skills class, which only has two other people in the group, but one of them probably won't do the work, so it looks like it's me and this other girl, which has good talent and ambition. Not too many worries. The other class, Intro to PR, I'm in a group with 4 others. Not too many worries there either. Sure, I could be worried about the one member's first question to the group "Is anyone hung over", but he's an alright student.

I am looking forward to Christmas a lot this year. It might be the family time, or the warm, Christmas feel of the season, or even the preparation of Christmas gift ideas this year, but I am excited. My new goal is to focus more on the real meaning of Christmas- Christ- rather than myself.

Now to the nutty dream. It's amazing how much detail that can be put into a dream in just the time frame of two hours.

It started out when I caused the family car to break down. Something about filling it with oil but when I put the funnel in, I poked something else and oil had run through the entire engine. I was really upset and felt terrible as my Dad worked on it. Left the scene, which was in the drive thru of the bank at home.

I then went back to my house, which wasn't my house; it was a mansion-like version of my grandmother's old house. Grandma kept yelling at me to do something but I tuned it out, go figure. I kept stressing over the fact that I was going to miss bowling and I kept looking for my phone to call K and M. Eventually I caught up with them in some corridor.

After that I was at my Atmosphere and Space Science Professor's house, which had a small indoor lagoon pool. He had several kids and my friend H and I played with them. Dr. H and I discussed science matters and I planned on asking him about which car I should purchase someday that is environmentally friendly. Him and his wife invited us over for lunch on Sunday, and H and I planned on bringing a pumpkin pie. At the end of the night, he went around the house and sprayed Lysol on all the carpets and couches. Weird.

I left there and went to some type of church service. I saw Mrs. H and she was friendly, she was the greeter. I went in and the setup was very strange. The youth and young adult pastor and my friend M invited me to sit with them at their table but I decided to sit with my friend J, who had a shiny pink coat on with tan lines and a fur hood. I told her the tan accented her eyes. Who says that in dreams?

From there I became a cheerleader for some high school that had my same high school colors- green and white. They were doing a routine and needed me to help hold some banner they were going use to pop someone up in the air, like a sheet and someone being in the middle. But the girl chosen to be popped up was kind of overweight, and they almost recruited me to be the popper-upper, but in the end, we just used a lot of muscle.

And that's it. My friends told me I was nuts, they've never heard of a 2 hour nap with a dream so detailed. I even wrote it down so I could remember. I think my favorite part was being at my professor’s house because I woke up happy; I was having a lot of fun at his house. The Lysol part freaked me out a little though, but hey, everyone has their quarks!

Off to go be productive and such. Have a good one!

Arr!

2005-11-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

The gang of scallywags

Land Ahoy!

2005-11-01T08:49:00.000-08:00

Arr Matey! We be dressed up for that there Halloween holiday to loot for some booty in our sacks. It be a might wild time making fellows walk the plank and making K mop the poop deck. Arr!

It's A-Maze-Ing!

2005-10-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

Here's Me, C, and H at the corn maze at Reeger's farm back home. My old art teacher, who attended Edinboro, is the advisor for the ski club at Elderton and West Shamokin, Elderton being my Alma Mater.

Hope Floats!

2005-10-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

Here's the gang at Thiel! I visited my best friend H at her college for homecoming and their campus ministry did Noah's Ark and won first place! What an awesome weekend. For more pics, check out the link on the sidebar.

Pumpkins, Jared, Pumpkins

2005-10-28T23:57:00.000-07:00

Even if you call it a "punkin" or a "pumkin", there's nothing like carving one for Halloween. Too bad it molded already and had to get pitched before Halloween, but it was a blast!

Where I've Been

2005-10-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

I guess this would be a good time to explain where I meandered off since the last time I stopped in and delivered a solid, thoughtful post. Life's been busy, yet calm, hectic, yet refreshing, challenging, but rewarding.

Life in the dorms has mostly stayed the same- fire drills, four flights of stairs, and the food that makes you pull back the fork and wonder if you just heard a moo coming out of the Roast Beef Sub. We had a floor meeting Thursday night to go over the same dribble as every year that precedes it or follows: Hygiene, quiet hours, boys on the floor, noise disturbances, and other boring and brain-melting material that is forgotten ten seconds after walking out of the lounge. It's not that bad, really, I depict it as if I just received a root canal, but it's the standard.

My roommate has pretty much gone awall. No, not awall meaning I had to get out the white jacket and have her committed, but if I did string her up, I might get to see her more. She has taken her path in life, I've taken mine, or at least stayed on mine. The roommate I used to chat to and laugh with in bed at wee hours in the morning as we swapped stories and told tales of our days doesn't come back the room to sleep anymore but goes out. I barely know what's going on with her. I miss that. I do see her occasionally, but not like it used to be.

The Potter's House is blossoming as always. I find myself over at the house all the time, whether it be the laundry day that has been put off for a week or a study session. Whether it's dinners or birthday parties, chilling or movie night, I never mind to take a brisk walk in the crisp autumn air to the girls who I feel are some kind of sisters to me. Sure, I think I would like to live there next year, they have practically titled me an "honorary member", but with time. I don't know where I'll live next year, whether it will be house, dorm, or cardboard Home Interior box; God will be the decider in all that.

Staying here on the weekends isn't that bad. A year ago, I would have dreaded the thought of three extra days in Edinboro but this year it's almost as if I have to plan to go home rather than plan to stay here and keep myself occupied in order to remain sane. I do miss home though, and it seemed so very hard to come back to the Boro after a short weekend. There was so much to do when I went home. I hadn't traveled back home since Labor Day, the infamous dirtbike accident weekend, and there was so much to do. I had to visit this person, go to this place, see this person, find this item that I need to school, say hello to him, give a hug to her, next time I hope it's a lot less crazy. I enjoy spending some quiet, peaceful, non-stressful time at home. I think I love it more than I every have because it's special to me now. It's not a thing I live at while I went to high school, or that place I sleep at and then leave to see my boyfriend, it's a home filled with memories, laugher, love, and family. I can only hope and dream that I have a warm home filled with those same things someday.

Thinking should be my major; I do enough of it, haha. I even think about where I'll be in four years, as crazy as that sounds. I try to see myself somewhere, a job, a home, whatever it may be, but sometimes I need to sit back and let the good Lord take that into His hands, He knows a lot more than I do. I often ponder about Public Relations and whether I will be any good at it, whether it's my passion, and so on, but in my heart, I feel like I'm in the right place right now. My minor, Graphic Design, irritates me sometimes; actually, it bothers me often. It's so much work, and sometimes the work seems stupid to me, but another part of me loves art. I want to filled my home with canvas painting by students, I want to take pictures for the rest of my life, I want to color coordinate and paint my home all kinds of colors because I love colors, and so on. Things have to match, my blog needs a new change, my instant message icon and colors must match- I swear, I'm OCD, lol.

Today I discovered that there could be a slight chance that I can double minor in something. Through my Gen. Ed. courses I could take another minor in Environmental Studies. I think that would be really cool, to learn about the earth we live in, and I love nature, the countryside, the weather, I sometimes love to marvel at it all and the wondrous characteristics of God's grand creation. But before I turn in a minor slip, I need to take a few of those Gen. Ed. courses for Environmental studies and see what I think, then talk to my advisor. No rush, no must. We'll just see what happens.

At times I find myself dreaming about the summer. Sure, kind of a far fetched idea since the region I live in is now breaking into the winter season, but it's not so much the wondrous weather and pool side view but what I want to do with my summer. I just watched the movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and was inspired by what they did with their summers. There are a lot of camp and leadership opportunities this summer- and I've made it up in my mind that I want to make this summer count. Last summer was wonderful, despite the breakup with the boyfriend, but even that was a learning experience, they often are. But I want this summer to count for God, I want to be deeply rooted, I want to be a better woman of God to honor Him, and through that, I'll also become a better daughter, a better big cousin to Sydney, and a better girlfriend/wife to someone someday. I just don't want my summer to consist of Shop N' Save non-stop, I would like an adventure. Wherever God wants me, that's where I'll want to be. But again, that's far off too, we'll see what happens.

Let's focus on some recent events. Halloween is coming around the bend and I still need to put the finishing touches on my costume. Pirate attire is a rarity at Wal-Mart so Ill hopefully be heading off to the local thrift store in search of a puffy shirt, Seinfeld style. The Fighting Scots beat the living crap out of the Slippery Rock Pride last weekend. We may be in kilts, but we know how to throw that ball, or at least recover it when SRU fumbles and such. The classes are going well, 15 credits, and keeping my busy enough. I have a new job as a monitor for study tables at the Office of Students with Disabilities. It's seriously the sweetest job ever. I sign peers and their mentors in and in between that, I finish homework and get paid for it. God has blessed me there! Ambassador duties last weekend were rigorous and the temperature was cold as the artic. I gave campus tours last weekend at the Fall Open House for Edinboro. Of course, the weather was cold, rainy, and dreary as ever to welcome those prospective students. When the sun shines here, it's gorgeous, but prior to summer orientation, I thought the clouds were there year round. The fish is still alive- Mr. Larold Fishard Beta, and the plants are happy and watered as always. Kickboxing is awesome- it's fun, stress reliving, and a great workout. I wish I would do it four times a week instead of 2, but work gets in the way.

But it's extremely too late at night. I must end the post and leave you to wait for the next one. Take care everyone, have a great weekend, and catch ya around.

Trick or Treat

2005-10-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

Arrr matey! Yes, these are the costumes for Halloween. I need to furnish mine before Thursday, the community trick-or-treating night, so I'm either a damsel in distress or a fellow pirate. Which one should I be? Decisions, decisions...

The Great Pumpkin Carvers

2005-10-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

Punkin' Carvin' Time! K and M hack away at their big old orange pumpkins to add to the festive Halloween season!

Where did Lindsay go?

2005-10-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't get shipped off to a distant country for my birthday and fall off the face of the earth- school has just been time consuming and I mean to blog again and always get stopped by something else. No worries mates, I will return this weekend possibly. But thanks for all the birthday wishes! I was truly and amazing birthday that was fantastic, I loved every minute of it. School is great this semester, scheduling is soon, meetings, kickboxing (that I just started today), homework, and all sorts of things. God has graced me with a new job at the OSD office as a facilitator/check in person for the study tables for about 7 hrs. a week- which is perfect. I was starting to stress about it- but I handed it to him in prayer- and He took care of it. :) But anyway, time to get going and reviewing- mid terms and projects are awaiting! Toodles for now!

Happy Birthday!

2005-10-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

It's K, Me, And M taking a quick pic on my birthday! Everyone loves pooh brithday hats for their heads, who wouldn't?

Icing Battle!

2005-10-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

Surprise! The PH girls and guys threw me a surprise B-Day partay at the house. Early movie night at 6:30- yeah right! I was so excited! They topped off a great day by giving me a great night! Thanks to everyone who made my birthday special- it was terrific and unforgettable!

Oh yeah, and the stuff on our faces is icing- and lots of it! It took forever to get off! So much fun :)

Happy Birthday to me!

2005-09-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

Silly title, yes, but how many times do I get to say that a year? After a rough start to the evening, my gracious God has brightened me up with my friends at the Potter's House in order to welcome my 19th year of life with a smile and happy heart.

My peer mentoring was alright, and then I missed the facials that were going on at the PH, which made me sad, but I did get to chat to my mother on the phone, and then have bible study, where I remained quiet for the night. But afterwards I perked up and the PH turned into a hot spot for laughter and people coming out of the woodwork to hang out. I love it there and actually, for the first time, I'm declaring that I would greatly enjoy living there next year as a Junior. It's cheaper, I get my own room and a home instead of concrete walls. And most importantly, my faith would be strengthened in community with other Christians. Now I wonder what mother will think of that when she reads that. Haha.

So I am now 19 years old. I don't feel all that different, my other friends tonight told me I act more mature than I actually am, which is kind of funny. I may look like a mere 16 year old but do I have the spirit of someone older? Hmm, pondersome. I recieved a cute bear and card from my roomie when I returned to the room and my friends Im-ing me and giving birthday wishes. Birthdays are fun. I don't think I will ever stop liking them.

Anyway, I need some sleep, big day tomorrow, or is it today? Who's counting hours, my eyelids are drooping! Haha, night everyone! :)

Winter is A Comin'

2005-09-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

Today is just friggin cold. Plain and simple, straight to the point. It's 55 degrees out and it's still September. Something is wrong, someone ticked off old man winter, the ecosystem is decaying, but whatever the reason, I'm freezing my hind end off on the way to classes. Of course one of the coldest September days would fall on a Thursday- one of my busyest days of the week. Poitfect.

But on a lighter note, my birthday is tomorrow. I can't imagine being 19, one reason being that's an odd number that doesn't really appeal to me and the second is that it's my last teenage year; which in fact, I don't feel like much of a teenager. A number is a number. A dollar is a dollar, even if it;s the last one in your pocket. I'm not exactly sure what message or idea I was trying to convey with the whole dollar thing, so if it didn't make sense to you, don't lose any sleep over it tonight.

Anyway, on my brithday I will particiapte in some Highland Ambassador things (not exactly sure what time that will happen, either 8AM or 11AM, it's still pending, I am crossing my fingers for the 11AM shift. No one likes to get up early on their birthday, ok, maybe Sharon, but Sharon always gets up with the birds. I respect her for such bravery- I simply cannot do it.) For the afternoon/evening there is a movie night at the PH and a trip to the Dairy Supreme for some good quality diet busting ice cream with K and M.

My friend and fellow RamRod bowling team member M is back in the Boro for a few days. He left this past summer to boot camp and now he is returning to us for a visit as an offical Marine. We are all so proud, I will have to post a pic of him in the dress blues (that uniform is to die for). It was good to see him, it's almost like old times, he hopes to be back for the Spring Semester, we all hope that.

It's been a crazy busy week and the weekend looks the same. Peer Mentoring, bible study, dinner for tonight, tomorrow is the birthday along with a side dish of Ambassador duties and ice cream topped off with a movie, Saturday is the grand homecoming parade I am walking in for Ambassadors, later that night working on a scrapbook with my friend J, Sunday I am a greeter for McLane again, and then working with the Creative Team for a video for the Gathering. I am seriously waiting for a day to sleep in- honestly, lol. But I am busy in a good way, and I'm lovin' it.

Well, it's time to get cracking on a few things. See you guys around, and I'll get some pics posted soon! Also, if you want to view the updated pictures I have of campus and such, find the link "Lindsay K.'s Photos" and click on it, it will take you to webshots and you can graze through the folders for some entertainment. Enjoy and have a good one!

Go Boro!

2005-09-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

Heidi and I at the football game in the Boro getting our "free drink and beverage", long story, lol. Go team, go!

My Hope Floats

2005-09-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

Chessy title, yes I know. It's been an emotional day, like a roller coaster of some kind. I think I've thought about everything I possibly could today and I'm still awake and sane, for the most part. It must have been the whole grain Cheerios. They were great this morning, Berry Bursts Strawberry and Banana, you should try it sometime. Fabulous.

Church was great today. I was so tuned into the message today that it even left me thinking for hours on end after church was dismissed. A part of that message was directed at how the modern church has somewhat failed in trying to keep tradition rather than keeping truth and faith. That idea hit so close to home- literally. I can think of the top of my head of families who sit in the same pew every Sunday and my home church and refuse to talk to certain people because they won't forgive, others stare if you're not wearing the appropriate clothing, and so on. There's nothing wrong with hymns and pews, but the church of today needs to "repackage" but not "replace". There seems to be some many misconceptions and barriers about Christians, and sometimes they’re true. In a way, it made me grateful that I found a church I really connect to, along with many other Christians, some who are college students attending Edinboro. I felt at home.

The afternoon became stressful. I decided to leave the dorm room that was causing the frustration and left to do some laundry at the Potter's House A.K.A my safe haven. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for the Potter's House. The warm walls, the soft couch, the welcoming people, the colorful walls, it's a second home to me. I love the structure, the sliding French doors, even the basement that is falling apart. (Mostly because it reminds me of my grandfather's basement). Laundry and some reading, which then evolved into a movie - a nice Sunday evening.

A resident at the house, H, pictured above with me at the football game, has a boot load full of movies, a great majority of them being chick flicks. I debated between Serendipity and Hope Floats, and had to go with Hope Floats, mostly because of Harry Connick Jr. I needed a pick me up. I know my mother would be right along side of me with that choice. Haha.

The movie was good; hopefully those reading have seen it. At the end, I wasn't so much longing for a special someone to come along in my life, like most girls would do after a chick flick, but I missed home. The movie is set at the main character's country home with her Mother and Father. As I folded my laundry I felt a yearning I used to feel when I missed Wuvor- the feeling of missing someone that you love. I also feel honored and fortunate to have such a great home life in comparison to others who dread a call from their parents or refuse to spend any time in the house they grew up in. I have an insurmountable amount of memories from home that make me smile ear to ear. Funny, the summer before I didn’t spend much time at home, and this summer, I didn’t spend much time with Wuvor. A lot does change in a year.

This past summer was almost like a good cup of tea- you didn't want to drink it right away it was so good, but to savor the taste and enjoy every morsel of flavor on your tongue. I loved being at home this summer, probably one of the reasons it was hard at first to come back to school. Late nights with David Letterman, breakfast Saturday mornings, Sunday dinner, fresh cut green grass and sitting on the porch with the pets enjoying the air. Such beauties make me wish upon stars in the night sky for a home of my own so soothing and warm someday, a home just catty corner from my parent’s house, right in the hay field, with a gravel driveway, lots of windows so the sunshine streams inward, and a big ol' dog that visits the family and neighborhood, just like mine. I know I'm not the keeper of my stars and the one who's holding the map of my life, I leave that up to the good Lord, but I hope it's in the plans. I honestly could never live in the city. You can't smell the fresh cut grass or the crickets at night, instead it’s filled with horns and sirens, smoke and dust. My heart could never call that home. My friend K lives in Pittsburgh and honestly can't wait until she returns home. As that song goes "You can take the girl out of country but you can't take the country out of the girl"… or something to that extent.

It will be great to be home again the weekend of October 15th. In fact, I hope I can leave Thursday in order to get more quality time, especially with that baby girl I miss so much. I already have a list of things I would like to do while being at home. One is to work on my Aunt and Uncle's computer; another is to attend the Corn Maze that my old Art Teacher hosts for a fundraiser, maybe even some good old yard sales with mother. Besides, I still have stuff at home that I have forgotten to bring back to the Boro. I just keep forgetting.

Speaking of the Boro, the football game was good. I was planning to make a trip home this weekend but I was invited to sit in the President's Reserved Section to watch the football game, since I'm a Highland Ambassador. It pays to know the big man. He's so jovial and kind, and it never ceases to amaze me how large his hands are when he gives you a hand shake. But anyway, Edinboro beat Shippensburg 16-0, a good game but not too exciting. SRU, my brother's University, creamed the corn out of Lock Haven this weekend, but that is no consolation for what a pounding they'll get October 22nd when they come to the Snow Belt to get beat down by my Fighting Scots.

Anyway, it's time for me to head on out. There is laundry calling my name to put them back in their file cabinets AKA dresser drawers. Have a good one, see ya round.

2005-09-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

Look at those sexy blazers! Sizzlin'!

Monday Sucks

2005-09-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

Typically I have normal Monday’s that turn out being like any other day of the week. Not so today.

The day was off to a bright start when I set my alarm clock incorrectly last night before bed, setting it an hour before I had to get up. Needless to say, my alarm went off at 7:20 rather than 8:20, something completely terrible to someone like me who finally crawled into bed at 1AM after studying and relaxing. The soft inner voice in my foggy mind told me to check the time on my phone to see what time it was, because I have a daily ritual of laying in bed after the alarm rings, waiting for a snow storm to knock out all life outside and have class cancelled and I can easily fall back to my sweet slumber. But this morning I didn’t check my alarm to see what time it is, so I tumbled down from bed to get dressed, put my contacts in, and even post an away message on Instant Messenger saying that I had class till 10:30ish. As I was sliding on my grandmother’s ring and fastening my cross necklace, I finally did a time check and to my utter surprise discovered it was 7:30 something- and I was disgusted. Sure, it would only be an hour or so, but still- that hour can make a difference. I need a good 8 hours + to function. Not today.

I debating on whether to be a hyper active freak and go get breakfast from the food court to start the day off bright, but knowing I lost that much sleep only depressed me to the point where I crawled back into bed and tried to cuddle under the covers to get some quick shut eye. I set my alarm, and off I went…until I heard the alarm go off after a quick millisecond of shut eye passed. Gosh.

Off to the first class of the day at 9:00AM: Studio Skills. Our teacher, who isn’t even a professor but just a fill in, gives abnormal assignments and speaks to the class in this weird lecture form where he speaks, takes an awkward pause, and then speaks again. Lather, rinse, repeat if necessary. One word: boring. He speaks of nothing that has relevance to do with the class and the curriculum. Today was the critique for the project I had procrastinated on to the point where I forced myself to get a marker out. To my surprise, the critique was nice, quick, to the point. (My previous critiques from last semester were dreadful, lasting 2 hours and 50 minutes.) But to my great disadvantage, he kept us right to the minute- 11:50- talking about gibberish no one in the class understood. He gibbered for an hour and 50 minutes. Lord, spare me now.

After getting through that class and half tempted to pick up a change of minor form at the Bursar’s office, I scurried over to my next class at 12 for a test on some notes we’ve taken since the beginning of the year. This Space Science class has no required textbook, which is nice for my wallet, but not for test day. The professor informed us that He is the textbook. The test seemed harder than it was expected to be. I studied everything in notes, I even know facts I didn’t need to know.

But the sickening feeling of failure set in and my heart dropped about 60 feet to the floor as I saw the grade decline from A, then B, then C, and hopefully not any lower. I set a standard for myself to earn a GPA of 3.7, like I did last semester and now in one test I feel like a lost cause. I often got this feeling from my math classes all through school. I thought I knew the material, I thought I had it down pat, and now I am left with nothing on exam day.

I left the room and my fellow classmate who lives in the same building as me starts raving to me how easy the exam was after I told him I found it extremely difficult. I studied all last night, he studied for twenty minutes. If I had a girl friend that was in my class, she would be supportive and wouldn’t even discuss her level of achievement on the test. See, this is why I am sick of men. I’m glad I have no attachment to some significant other. I just can’t take it right now. All I’ve seen is stupidity lately- raw stupidity. This is why I’m single. I need a vacation from relationships AKA senseless, emotionally colorblind men. Too much work.

After ditching my classmate who had royally irritated me from his never-ending knowledge of the notes he barely studied, I ate with some friends who perked me up to the point of maybe laughing or smiling. I returned to my room, grabbed my favorite pink towel that is softer than the clouds themselves, and took a steamy hot shower to wash away the disgust and anguish from a rare but roaring ruthless Monday. This, my friends, just plain sucks.

I am done with classes for the day (Thank the heavens!) but I still have matters to attend to. Another quiz is coming my way on constellations Wednesday and a Literature of the Bible test on Thursday. I intend to my fullest to knock them down with no problem- but then again- I aimed for that today. Hopefully it will get better, I know it will. As a good friend of mine from the PH said: “Eh... you'll have days like these. And the only thing you can do is persevere through them... there's light at the end of the tunnel- and it's not another train coming...”. Well put. I’m out to do some more work. Later gators.

One of the people I miss the most

2005-09-17T14:07:00.000-07:00

This is my desktop background on my computer- and it makes me miss her more and more! Adorable, isn't she?

Homes Sweet Homes

2005-09-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

Saturdays are great, yet different depending where I am. If I'm at home, I enjoy getting up around 8:30 to eat breakfast with the family, a nice omlet with cheese and orange juice to walke up to. If I'm in Edinboro, I arise around 10:00, chill around, and finally get out of my pj's at 1PM. Funny how culture can change you without even knowing it. But then again, if someone was making me a cheese omlet every Saturday in Edinboro, I just might get up.

I won't be home for quite some time, in fact, not until mid October. I was planning to go home next weekend, but due to a special invitation from the President to all Highland Ambassadors to watch a football next Saturday in the President's reserved section with free food and drink, I decided to seize that oppritunity and spend the weekend in EUP. It's good in a way, it's economical and practical. My parents don't have to put $20.00+ dollars in the gas tank and I can get more time "living the college life" which AKA is just spending another weekend in Edinboro. I do like the weekends here, all kinds of things happen- movies, trips, food, more movies, more food, and all sorts of adventures. I also enjoy the church I attend in Edinboro, even a little more so than my church from home.

Yet there are some things I do miss from home that I am itching to return to. One is my new baby cousin, who is growing like a weed- and I'm missing it. I miss my dogs and cats, they probably have no idea where I went driving off to. And of course, home cooked meals, family, and the countryside.

I was thinking about it yesterday- I want the best of both worlds. My major deals with Public Relations, which one would see as a professional city-slicker job with the fancy, expensive apartment and little dog that fits in your purse. Yet I love the countryside, even the smell of fresh cut grass, big dogs running around wherever they please (sometimes, unless they are on lock down because they can't behave). I'm learning to not fit into sterotypes- each person is different. When people ask me what I plan to do with my major, I'm not quite sure how to answer them. Of course a part of me questions each day whether I should be taking what I am, taking the minor I am, but then another part is reminding me to trust God and let him lead my path. Now that doesn't mean that I'm going to be ingorant about the whole matter and end up graduating with a diploma that I don't intend on using, it's letting God guide me where he wants me to go, and right now a major in Speech Communications with a focus in Public Relations and minor in Graphic Design sounds just fine. (Even though I hate the project I just finished for Graphic Design. Silly class. Blah.)

It's hard to have two homes, a constant little tear between the worlds, but it's ok, I only have one time in my life to expereience this- savor the moment while it last. I'm off to eat, then to do laundry, and read some more. Enjoy your Saturday everyone, I know I will.

Doctor Disaster

2005-09-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days since the visit to Hamot Hospital and I decided to schedule my follow up appointment at the campus Health and Wellness Center. I was directed by Hamot to do so, and since I have never really had an appointment there, just had visited to fill out applications for a job that I never got called back for, I had no previous experience with their services, only dark rumors that have filled the campus.

Rumors are usually false, but the students are dead right on this fact. If your injured, you might as well suffer to death than put your last efforts and take your last breaths explaining what happened to a doctor that could care less about why your there.

It was the doctor appointment from hell.

I hobbled over, half crutching it. (Half crutching is the process of using half your weight to walk and distrubuting some of your weight to the injured foot and the rest of the weight on the crutch, much easier than straight crutching it, see PAIN IN REAR or ACHING ARMS for further description.) The receptionist was very friendly, which surprised me because last time I was in Gherring, filling out yet another job application, she was reaming out another student worker because she forgot to mark something, I felt bad for the poor kid, I guess I am glad I didn't get a job there.

Anyway, the receptionist was friendly, the nurse was friendly (except for the slight misconception I was riding an ATV. I don't care for ATV's as much, dirtbikes slide, ATV's roll. I'm more of a dirtbike girl), the doctor was a...well, you can throw in your own colorful adjective there. I saw his shadow in the glass as he neared the door, didn't knock, came in, no introduction, and sat down, scribbling in his little note pad, and then asked what happened and why I'm there. I thought that's what records are for. Then he preceeded to give me a 3-5 minute lecture on how he can't "treat me" because he doesn't have X-rays and any other records, with the exception of Hamot calling Gherring to inform them of my ER visit last Friday. After that I asked him about my foot and why it has swollen to the size of an offical NFL pigskin football. He so intellectually replied "I don't know". Terrific. This guy claims to have years of experience from the emergency room and yet the can't tell me why my foot is soon going to pop and give birth to a sixth toe.

After that run down, the looks at my foot and moves it up and down. He first tells me to relax, I do, he moves it, and then strictly tells me again to relax as I replied "I am!". Then he moves his fingers up my calf in a pressing motion asking if anything hurt. When he reached on of the large, mulpy brusies on my back calf I quickly said "That hurt, because there's a bruise." "Oh yeah" he says and goes back to his paper to scribble some more. He then asked what I was doing to have the accident, if was at a "rally" or something. I told him I was just riding around my yard, and after that recieved instruction on how I should wear proper gear. Obviously this guy isn't from the country. I was in my yard! Why don't I wrap myself in bubble wrap next time I take a walk with my dog? A tree might come out and scratch my arm, oh the horror!

The appointment was done, he sat there, I put the air cast back on, opened the door myself, and walked out, quickly said thanks, and hobbled away to the door. I stepped outside and began to cry. I didn't expect to be treated like a moron, like dirt, by a professional none the less. This is a disgrace.

I called Gherring back later yesterday and asked for his name because he didn't give it to me in the room, even didn't wear a name tag. I am finding the director. I am complaining. Apparently, the name of this doctor preceeds him. A friend of mine at the PH told me of an instance where the very same doctor sent her home with a broken arm, telling hre nothing was wrong. Another told me of a story from another doctor employed at the Wellness Center that simple looked into her mouth and told her she had strep without running a proper test or culture of any kind (Later my friend also learned she had strep and mono, something they obviously didn't find). This is outrageous. First ResLife doesn't give me a key and my mother calls up the director who then lavishly kissed her butt with apologies to straighten things out. I stood outside and cried thinking "When will this mess be over? I can't do anything, I only cause trouble." It was a hard day.

Later that night I went to the Gathering, an off-campus college hang out where you can hear God's message from a speaker, listen to an awesome live band each week, and connect with other Christians. The Gathering never felt so good to attend. God is so good, he truly bring peace into my heart.

Another thing that made me laugh was an unexpected voicemail from my brother what sounded like this "If your hoppy and you know it, stomp your crutch! If your hoppy and you know it, stomp your crutch! If your hoppy and you know it, and your face does surely show it, if your hoppy and you know it, stomp your crutch!" It made me laugh and brightened my day. I am still surprised he called me, even after fulfilling my duty of being a little sister and trying to get some information about my brothers secret and mysterious "love life" and "unnamed girlX".

I'm off to another day of hobbling, trying to be off crutches and just air cast, and taking it easy. Peace out peeps. Drop a message and I'll get back to ya.

Hopping Along

2005-09-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty uneventful weekend for me, which is actually a good thing. I've caught up on my sleep and have spent some time updating my move knowledge, mostly back to back study sessions for that. Doctor has ordered me to be on crutches 3-4 days and an air cast for 1 week, so everyday seems like a vacation with chores.

I've never been on crutches before, but I've played with them. There's something about crutches that tempt you to trying them out if they are just laying around, but if required to become a part of your daily activities, the utmost contempt develops within and they become large, bulky, ugly, and painful. Even if your swinging the correct way, it's still hard, mostly because of my stature and lack of arm muscle to propel me around like a pendulum.

It must be said that I have a great group of friends in Edinboro that are extremely helpful through all of this hobbling, from carrying bag, getting food, fetching items, and giving me car rides. No matter what the challenge, they arise and help without ever thinking twice. Yet with such help, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and helplessness. It's not that I am proudfull or over-confidant, it's the idea that I believe I can do it, and even though I need help and will ask, but it's the idea that I'm, well, as one person puts is, "a wuss", something I can't get out of my mind.

After this ordeal, I want to start kickboxing to become fit, and maybe work out around the room to get stronger. Actually, I can't wait to walk to class without little bits of pain or able to clean the room, hang things up that have fallen down again and again, and just enjoy being mobile and now confined to my office chair or a couch.

The upcoming week is going to be a busy one, between Tues./Thurs. 8:00AM mornings for OSD Peer Mentoring (a job I start this week with a student), the Gathering Tuesday night, Bible Study Thursday night, and a Luncheon Friday for Ambassadors. Balance, direction, determination. But for this week, I'll focus on the Amoxicillin and Anaprox with a dose of sleep and a truckload of DVD's.

Someday I would like to venture back to a dirtbike, to somewhat "redeem" myself, even though the thought of that right now is scary. But for now my challenges are homework, classes, getting to class, but my goals are grades, planning, and seeking direction from the one thing that had fallen out of my life for a year and ten months- God. Time for me to seek Him, to glorify Him, and to let him take the pilot's seat. I've been to one side and then the other- happiness is impossible without Him.

Enjoy the Sunday, it's beautiful, and never forget. 9.11.05

What happens when you're bored

2005-09-09T19:44:00.000-07:00

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Yeah, this is what happens when you are bored on the net and you're on crutches with an air cast on your foot for an acute sprain and were at the ER for five hours and I feel like being at home with my mommy and daddy and my pets and baby cousin. Bummed for the night, and the weekend, but it will get better. Night.

Slow and Steady goes off the race course

2005-09-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

So I have some explaining to do. The pictures below this post aren't pictures from Labor Day weekend of pretty flowers, or lovely pets, or my fantastic friends. No, those are pictures of my battered arm, bruised legs, and beat up ankle. Gotta love holidays.

In fact, holidays like Labor Day, 4th of July, or even Memorial Day always bring about some type of human disaster all over the nation. The emergency rooms are always packed when it's a holiday- it's a given. My aunt who used to be an ER nurse told me all about it. Whatever is humanly idiotic and dangerous, it will occur when our culture gives people an extra day off for a holiday to relax and rest up.

Now I'm not saying what I did was stupid and that I planned on it, my goodness no. Misfortune also follows holidays like a black curse. Sure, you could change that lightbulb in the house any day of the year and be fine, but if it's a holiday weekend, plan to fall off that ladder, take the light fixture with you, and break an arm on your way down.

Now to my Labor Day story that I've recounted so many times I'm surprised I'm not publishing a book. But a blog is close enough, it's like that over/grill they advertise on TV: "Set it, and forget it!" Anyway, I was taking a plesant and jovial ride on my cousin's dirtbike around the yard. The bike is having some trouble with the gas and needed to be checked out with my father, but nothing major, still ridable. I loved it when my aunt had her old 50 CC bike at the house. I rode it a lot and wanted more, so I welcomed this chance with open arms. Sure, I needed refreshed on the basics, but I like riding, it's a different kind of fun.

So I was doing well, confidant, but not cocky, aware, but not asleep, smart, but unknowing to what would happen next. I can't even remember what exactly happened. All I know is that I wanted to downshiftwhen I was at the top of the yard and it just wasn't happening.I might have been pulling the thottle at the same time, causing a problem obviously, I had the clutch in, but I was still going might fast and was headed towards the side of the garage. My father, when he heard the problem for the downshift, ran out and started waving his arms. When I was coming towards him, I paniced and forgot everything- killswitch, brake, everything. Yet when you are in that state of mind, isn't is amazing how you can put together a full sentence? I saw my father and first thought "Oh no, I'm my brother all over" (because my brother and dirtbikes don't mix) (story for another day) and then "What does he think he's doing? I'll run him over!" I then hear my cousin J yell "She's going to hit the garage!" which in my mind replied "No, that's just silly". In less than a second I was in the gravel driveway, remember that, gravel driveway, and was headed straight for the parked truck and the parked car that I drive. As I was speeding towards the defensless vehicles I just made an immediate desicion: I'm laying the bike down." Simple as that. Sure, I didn't it the cars, and I am thankful that I didn't, I was practially a foot from the bumper of the car, and I did a good job of laying the bike down, but I took the beating.

First imfamous words out of my mouth: "I'm alright- get the bike off me!" I said that so hastly for fear of getting burned by the exhaust pipe, which was on the other side, but I didn't know that at the time. J pulled me out and I sat there shaking from what just happened. Boom, boom, boom, on the ground and suddenly really sore. I first noticed how much my legs hurt, not my arm, or foot, but my legs ached, yes no blood. I waddled my way into the bathroom and slowly took off my jeans that were destoryed to say the least as the gravel popped out of my shirt and dirt fell on the floor. Now people have been asking me "Why didn't you have riding gear on?" which leads me to add this disclaimer- I was in the yard and I live in the country. I wasn't trying out for the new motocross 2005 season or anything like that, it was just a happy, wholesome ride around the yard that turned into a thrill and spill. I did have a helmet on though, it's crazy not to wear one.

My injuries include the following: a deep cut on the ankle from a footpeg or something of that kind (somewhat of a mystery), road rash on my legs, hands, stomach, and hip, close to 3 hematomins (big bruise filled with blood), and a slice in my forearm along with little ones in the same place to keep it company. It was a good beatin'!

My father was amazed that someone would get so beat up in one incident. I then soaked in Epson salts to pull out the dirt that was incased in all the wounds on my body. I've been soaking religiously in Epson salts everday since then to alieviate the swelling and heal up the wounds faster. Epson salts are great, it's like the ducktape of medicene- you can use it for sprains and swelling, as a laxative, and even as a fertilizer for your houseplants and lawn. Pick up a bag for only $2.05 at a Wal-Mart nearest you (which shouldn't be too hard).

At first, mother uttered the evil word I didn't want to hear at all "stiches" but she told me we'd wait and see how things turned out in the morning and if the wounds on the arm and foot were healing. Thankfully, they healed enough and there was no trip to the ER to sit in agony with all the other daredevils.

I spent the rest of that Sunday in bed, and as much time off my feet. I made my wasy down the stairs once that night and knew there would be problems returning to school. I live on the 4th floor. Yes, four ever-lovin flights of stairs to climb at least 6 times a day. When I came back, I had climbed 4 and was exhausted. Sure, I wanted to join kickboxing yesterday and get back in shape, but it's hard to do when you're banged up like a civil war drum.

I tried to solve the stair climbing dilemma by going to the front desk and asking if I could have an evelvator pass. See, the elevator in all other residence halls is free of service to all students, with or without a disability. Here at Rose, the elevator is for stictly for those who have a key, and the key comes from the Reslife office accompanied by a doctor's excuse from your physician from HOME. "I just came from there you idiots!" I thought in my head. I almost burst into tears as the people at the front desk turned me down. They told me they wish they would give me the key, but no cigar, not allowed. I did cry, as I climbed back up the stairs with my friend M, because I knew there would be more than walking to class- there would be stairs, taking them one step at a time knowing each step is pain, one way or the other.

Getting into bed is difficult, but with time it can be done properly. The first night I tried getting into my bunk I landed on my arm as I got to the top, which resulted into a 5 mintue crying session and phone call to my friend K from the Potter's House in order to have someone to talk to, roomie wasn't around, and I wanted to be home in my bed with my mother wrapping my bandages.

Walking to class does take longer, no doubt. But this sudden change of speed has given me time to observe rather than hustle off to the room, then to class, then to eat, and so forth. Now I have plenty of time to watch the people around me, see those I do know, and even have longer telephone conversations with friends.

I also see what great friends I have here in Edinboro. The girls at the Potter's house have been tending to me as they clean up the wound, wrap up my arm, and pour the water for the baths at their house this week in order to soak in a bathtub that works and is santitary. Other friends that don't live at the PH are so very helpful and generous, I am very touched and would like to thank them for their prayers and help. I can't recall being so bandaged and bruised like this before. At times I feel like I'm being a baby about the whole thing, I've been called a wuss before, multiple times over and over, and I'm sure some people think I am a wuss, but as my good friend R put it, "You can't measure what pain is to someone. For instance a migrain to one person may be a 10 whereas to another it might be a 2".

So, that might be why I haven't posted for the past couple days. I will someday ride again- I don't want to be afraid. This is a learning experience. If there is one thing I have learned, it's this one word: KILLSWITCH. Never going to forget that one. I'll post later ya'll, for now it's a trip the the PH for my evening soak and gradual shift to the weekend. Slow and steady wins the race!

Damage Report

2005-09-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

Not for the faint of blood :(

Cheese! Or is it...oink?

2005-08-31T08:35:00.000-07:00

I don't think there's enough purrel in the world to sanitize these hands covered in pig fat! It's K and H from the PH getting ready to wash their sticky hands after carving out the rest of Petuina the pig at the Pig Roast Monday night. There will be more pics to come when I get 'em! Enjoy!

To the Classroom, Batman!

2005-08-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

The first week of school is always one that remains pretty memorable. It all starts out with the run-of-the-mill syllabus and instructions followed by an early dismissal only to return to the dorm room with no homework or project to cram it. This doesn’t disappoint me by any means, for I love to waste time on the computer or do odds and ends around the room.

This semester I am taking a total of 15 credits, which is a nice break from 18 the previous spring semester. As always, I had already scoped out the class by seeking students who took the course, looking at the student ratings of the professor on ratemyprofessor.com, and making sure my schedule was comfortable and pleasing. So far, I enjoy most of my classes.

Monday and Wednesday consists of two classes, the first one, Studio Skills, run from 9:00-11:30 but today we ended at 10:30 because our “professor” ran out of things to say for the class. It dragged on and on, I was even bored after 15 minutes of class. The next class is at 12:00-2:00, my Space and weather class. I don’t exactly know the real official name, some call it Astronomy or GEOS109, but either way it’s a good class and I look forward to it.

Tuesday and Thursday consist of three classes. I start of the day with Intro to Public Relations from 9:30-10:45, then later on at 12:30 I head of to Literature of the Bible Part1, and then head off to Psychology of Communication at 2:00 to 3:15. Luckily for me, those last two are in the same building. Hoo roo.

As you might have noticed, I didn’t mention any Friday classes, probably because I don’t have any! Yes, you are jealous, please don’t say mean things at me or try to blackmail me or blackblog me or something of that nature. My roommate and another fellow RamRod member also are class-less on Friday. It means a good, early start to a weekend at home or a weekend at school, school most likely.

I feel the workload will be alright. I hope to get an on-campus job this semester so I can save up the money for something like my invisaligns (that I am dying for), a car (that I don’t need right now, but my yellow sunfire is a nice thought), or Christmas spending money (I take great pleasure in mapping out good gifts for people at the holidays).

Now it’s time for me to depart and partake in one of my favorite activities of the day- eating! I still need to catch up on the blogging but don’t worry, I will get around to it! Later!

The Little Bambino

2005-08-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

As promised, here's a picture ofmy new baby cousin- a little blessing from heaven that I can't wait to see again. Congrats again the parents!

And....I'm spent.

2005-08-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

This is from when we painted at the Women's Care Center but the message relates to how I felt yesterday- pooped! I wish I had elves or something to carry my monitor and fridge up four flights of stairs. I'll look into that, Santa can't be that busy...maybe the price of Reindeer fuel went up and he'll have to downsize his staff.

Change

2005-08-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

After finally moving back into the dorm room at school, K, my mentor, helped me realize something I didn't really notice before but it was so obvious. I don't deal with change well.

Once I think back, when I moved to school last year it was a disaster. I was away from home, my pets, and most importantly at the time, my boyfriend. I miseed everything, I cried for a week, my heart rate was at an insane speed for weeks, and I barely ate anything. My room was boring, I was alone, I was scared to death and in a major I was seriously questioning. This time around it was much better, less tears, but I still miss home. I don't miss my friends, and no offense to them, nor do I miss the town (but that is understandable) and I dare not say I miss work, I miss home, family, the simple things likk David Letterman weeknights at 11:35, seeing my new baby cousin, playing with pets, and having homecooked meals. Sure, I will get back into my routine, but home was so different this summer.

I entered the summer with a baby cousin on the way, one less grandparent, a year of college under my belt, repairing friendship, and trying to keep the pieces together of another. But this summer I soaked everything in- the poolside, the fields, my pets, my family, everything. I matured, I grew, and I took all the memories and pictures in my mind that I could. I savored the summer.

Now that it's gone, I still miss it but it leaves me excited for the next summer that will be filled with even more fun. I feel as if I am turning a new leaf for the year. But it's still challenging. I felt I was clinging to my parents when they came up to move me. I even have a childish tradition of always watching them pull out from the turn around infront of the building. Change just isn't my thing.

In fact, as I was chatting with K at the house, I lamented about the doom I have facing me. What happens the night before I get married, or having children, getting a job, moving, all these big steps in life? Odds are that I will spaz each and every time. A part of me wishes I could skip all that and wake up with someone at my side in a silk-sheeted bed with a dog on the floor and a job to work at that I enjoyed, but then again, when does that happen? There is a country song that goes "Life's a dance, You learn as you go". It's the learning experience that counts. Look what one year of college can do for a person. I look at those who are younger than I and a part of me wishes them off to school in order to learn and expereince a new way of life, but in short, to grow up at times, hehe. College grows you faster than miracle on a spider plant. (which is doing terrific.)

I am very blessed to have the friends I do at school. All of them. At the PH, I sit down on the couch, watch some television on their 3 or so channels, and chill to a point where I am so relaxed I become sleeping and feel exactly like I would at home. Weird, but true. My heart rate drops, my nerves relax, my mind relaxes. God wanted me at Edinboro- I'm so glad I ended up here. Sometimes when I miss home I think of how I could have gone to a local university in an hour's distance, but then again, the boro is my other home. It's just getting into the groove that is so difficult. It's the change.

I'll post some pics of the room when I get a change. It's the same type of style as before, but the digs are cool. More colorful and mature theme. I am so organized. Please call a number for me. Haha.

So expect me to blog a bit more often than in the summer. You'd think it would be the other way around, but I don't live and breathe computer at home like I do at school. I should name my computer, like the "fembot" or the "della" or "piece of crap that was almost killed by a bible CD-ROM" (when angry) or "Sweet blessing from heaven above" (when sweet talking is nessessary). Have a good one folks, I will try to play catch up. You're it!

Kennywood

2005-08-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Random shot in Kennywood. On the far left is the PittFall, a ride that pulls you up into the air and drops you. In the middle is the every fashionable lamp post and bubbling water fountain, and on the right is the terrific Phantom's Revenge, which I rode four times and loved every minute of it, even the long go-uppy.