Never ceasing to be amazed.
Lord of the Worry Warts
I've decided it. I've reached a decision. I worry far too much.
I know what you're thinking "Oh, come now. You're so young. Why worry? Life is at your fingertips."
Yes, life is at my fingertips. I just can't get ahold of the steering wheel because the road of life is covered in black ice and my car is careening out of control towards a cliff that is the edge of a huge canyon!
Does stress bring worry? Who knows. But here's what Lindsay K. worrys about for something to do. And I can't sew or knit so therefore, no new hobby to pick up to entertain my wondering mind from daydreaming, or day"worrying" I should call it.
1. My Future: I fear the worst. When I first started school and was shocked to find I was required to take all these art courses, I jumped to the conclusion that I was the next New York City art hobo. Now I fear I'll hate my job, my career, the money that I'm pouring into Edinboro. What if I don't size up? Ahhh!
2. School: I have an 8:00 class and 18 credits. I might get a job, but the likelyhood of that is rare. I also have to go back and adjust to not seeing John every or everyother day. Boo for that.
3. My Old Best Friend: I've lost my best friend this year. The string has been cut, the gashes are trying to heal; but everytime I think about it, I pick the scab and I begin to bleed again. I began the August of 2003 when she began dating a guy that lead me on for 6 months, ditched me, and decided his heart was for her. I left them go and be happy, despite the tears and loniless. But things happened. people change, and now I'm hear and I've seen her once over break, not even planned. My old best friend didn't even say a word about Grandpa dying, no card, call, hug, nothing. That seems to be the final stab. It hurts the most. I feel like it's my fault but other's tell me it's not. I try to block out everything and move on but I'm hung up on it.
4. Realtionships: I worry about John and I. I've realized what a pain I can be him sometimes with all this worrying I blabber on into his ear. I worry about the dumbest stuff when it comes to us. He actually is helping me get over that.
2004 was crazy-go-nuts. I got a boy, graduated, went off to college, lost a best friend, many loved ones passed away, and my comfort zone was kicked and proded beyond comprehension.
I guess I should make a list of resolutions (Just for the sake of the New Year):
I know what you're thinking "Oh, come now. You're so young. Why worry? Life is at your fingertips."
Yes, life is at my fingertips. I just can't get ahold of the steering wheel because the road of life is covered in black ice and my car is careening out of control towards a cliff that is the edge of a huge canyon!
Does stress bring worry? Who knows. But here's what Lindsay K. worrys about for something to do. And I can't sew or knit so therefore, no new hobby to pick up to entertain my wondering mind from daydreaming, or day"worrying" I should call it.
1. My Future: I fear the worst. When I first started school and was shocked to find I was required to take all these art courses, I jumped to the conclusion that I was the next New York City art hobo. Now I fear I'll hate my job, my career, the money that I'm pouring into Edinboro. What if I don't size up? Ahhh!
2. School: I have an 8:00 class and 18 credits. I might get a job, but the likelyhood of that is rare. I also have to go back and adjust to not seeing John every or everyother day. Boo for that.
3. My Old Best Friend: I've lost my best friend this year. The string has been cut, the gashes are trying to heal; but everytime I think about it, I pick the scab and I begin to bleed again. I began the August of 2003 when she began dating a guy that lead me on for 6 months, ditched me, and decided his heart was for her. I left them go and be happy, despite the tears and loniless. But things happened. people change, and now I'm hear and I've seen her once over break, not even planned. My old best friend didn't even say a word about Grandpa dying, no card, call, hug, nothing. That seems to be the final stab. It hurts the most. I feel like it's my fault but other's tell me it's not. I try to block out everything and move on but I'm hung up on it.
4. Realtionships: I worry about John and I. I've realized what a pain I can be him sometimes with all this worrying I blabber on into his ear. I worry about the dumbest stuff when it comes to us. He actually is helping me get over that.
2004 was crazy-go-nuts. I got a boy, graduated, went off to college, lost a best friend, many loved ones passed away, and my comfort zone was kicked and proded beyond comprehension.
I guess I should make a list of resolutions (Just for the sake of the New Year):
- Do more for God. Send more cards. Love people. Seek God more.
- STOP WORRYING!
- Become a better girlfriend
- Be me and love it, no matter what anyone things.
There are probably more...but oh well. Wait, I forgot one (and I'll end this dreary blog with a happy note because I hate this pouring out of blah.)
5. Help Val after college at home doing whatever I can for her from scrubbing her bathroom and cleaning her house, walking Jack the dog, or even cleaning her pool because...
...there's a baby on the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Lindsay K. at 8:20 PM
3 Comments:
Lindsay, relax, this is genetic. Sharon worries constantly about everything! Maybe you are sisters and not cousins. Try meditation or medication--whatever works! Like Sharon says, better living through chemistry :)
Melonie's right...you are fine just the way you are. Isn't that funny, I was thinking about writing on this very subject this morning because my oldest son and I had this discussion yesterday (he does it too).
You are fine the way you are. In fact, you are wonderful!!
Ditto to what these two have said. Bottom line is, you are who you are. Yes, some things can change, but deep down, the real you will always shine. People who love you will accept you for who you are.
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